Just to say hello really

Hello IamLyn

Sorry you feel low, sometimes admitting that you feel sad helps lift the burden. I am glad you felt able to post, I hope it helps you. Where are you going abroad in November? Holidaying sounds good!

Take care xx

Hi Lyn, I really liked your post.  You explained so well how it really is.  I felt like I was reading my own story actually as I read what you wrote.   I have breast cancer too in my breast and bones and a couple of spots now in my liver two years down the track.  I too often feel like I was pre cancer, doing the same things, enjoying the same people and activities.  I've realised that how cancer is portrayed in movies and tv shows is not how it actually is.  Some of us look the same and feel the same for years before we start to go down hill and either the effects of the chemo or cancer start to limit our lives.  

It makes total sense to me, as I've experienced the same, that sometimes there are triggers that just send us to sadness.  Sometimes they come out of left field.  I want to kindly be with you and say that life has changed for us dramatically.  People around us don't realise that seeing our mortality is so very sobering at times and of course brings grief that oozes to the top and takes us unawares sometimes.  I have to have people tell me sometimes to be kind to myself because I'm surprised by the times I don't cope.  Gee as if we would cope all the time!    Not knowing is such a biggie.   I use meditation to bring myself back into today.  But sometimes I can't manage that on the days of deep sadness.  You sound so very normal.  

I also want to say that this site is a place where all of it is ok.   My experience of the people in here is that they know how it is.  And they know the bad days and the good days and the easy days and the bloody hard ones.  So it's all ok in here.  No need to feel like you're dampening any spirits.   I hope you're feeling better today.  Much love xx

Robyn

Hi Iamlyn, Welcome to the Group! The amazing thing about this Group is that you can tell it how it is and you don't have to pretend to be happy and smiley if that's not the way you feel! We've all been where you are now I'm sure. We describe it like being on a roller coaster and sometimes you are on the fast scared bit and other times it slows down a bit so you can take a breather. It is the ups and downs that make it hard to cope with. Your post was definitely not a crappy post as you put it! It was honest and true to how you feel and that is what this site and Group is all about. If everything in the garden was rosie none of us would be in this group!

I hope you did feel better after a good nights sleep and had a much better day!

Thank you all for your kind responses. 

I do feel a bit better today, I had a good word with myself before I went to sleep last night (I am grateful I can still get some sleep as I know many struggle, according to fit bit I had a blissful 6.5 hours).

flowerlady I am off to Mexico end of November for 2 weeks. A trip that I would never have booked but it was a prize that my partner literally won (for real no strings). So something to look forward to. All inclusive and posh plane seats. How lucky we were.

So now just about to sit in the garden and make the most of the late summer sunshine.  Harold and Hilda, two pigeons who have been visiting our garden every day  since April have just turned up requesting a feed  so will do my duty.

Thank you all again for your responses.  Enjoy your day xx

Hello IamLyn, don’t worry you are worthy!!!! Welcome to the group and thank you for your lovely post. I’m glad you are feeling better this morning.

i very much recognise your sad feeling....I’ve been feeling that way for a couple of weeks now, I see a psychologist to help me cope and I spoke to her about the terrible sadness.  Her advice was not to fight it.  We have been told hard things to hear, and it makes sense for us to be sad and to grieve.  She did say things do not have to black and white though, so you can be sad and think “this is terrible” but also still appreciate the good things in your life at the same time - it sounds like you are doing that with your lovely holidays and late summer sunshine!

she also said, if I did not have periods when I am sad, that would make her more worried! 

Have a wonderful day and welcome again, love heather xxx

Hi IamLyn 

Love that  you have named your visitors, hope today is a brighter day for you. 

Hi

Yes Harold and Hilda quite brighten my day they started visiting shortly after my diagnosis and they come twice a day. They are always together and look the same hence Harold and Hilda.

They have even started sitting on the table just outside the patio door and I like to think they look in waiting for the food.

They may only be a couple of pigeons but are now quite tame with me and partner almost and it brightens my day at times.  Even thinking of asking the neighbours to feed them when we are away. Is that mad I don't know but frankly I don't care. Love to feed the birds and they need all the help they can get.

So now as I am having a days holiday, off to the reservoir to feed the ducks and geese.  The things cost next to nothing and I am out in the fresh air.

Have a good day x 

Well, Iamlyn, How great you have two weeks in Mexico to look forward to! That's enough to lift anyone's spirits I think! We are off to Salou on Fri 27th for two weeks, so I'm looking forward to that! We go away every year at this time for our wedding anniversary which is on 2/10 and this year we celebrate 48 fantastic years!

Wow! Six hours sleep!! Wouldn't that be great! I'm lucky if I get that over three days! You enjoy it and anyone else who sleeps well too, I'm very pleased for you but a little envious! I'm used to it now!

Hi

Just re reading through all of your responses to my post I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. They have really touched me and I am so very grateful to you all.  The journey we are one is a tough one, the physical effects can been seen but not really the mental ones (even with those most closet to you).

I want to wish you all well on your individual journey - my wonderful brother said to me don't let this define who you are.  So I am trying to be the best person I can be.  I will not make excuses if I am having a bad day after all we all have them. I accept that I am going to be on a rollercoaster ride and am for now grateful for our wonderful NHS service for being able to keep me somewhat stable. The stories on this site also give me hope that although I cannot be cured, I am still here. 

I don't want to be known as oh that's Lyn with Cancer - Just Lyn - and I wont let this shitty disease engulf me every day so for today its

Me 1 cancer 0

What an inspirational group of people you all are.

Today on the last day of my holiday at home - we are just off to visit my mother-in-law who is a fantastic 96 and although she has dementia, it is nice to visit her and talk with her.  Even if some of the things she says are quite odd and funny at times.  Hey she is 96 years young so deserves to have an opinion that's what I say anyway.

Have a good day everyone. x

Now, THAT ^^^^^^^^^ was inspirational, IamLyn!

Thank you so much