The LGBT Lounge

Come and join in if you identify as LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans*) or any other minority sexuality/gender identity. We welcome all who have been affected by cancer to share their experiences. Cancer doesn’t discriminate, neither do Macmillan.

Anyone else struggle to engage their family in their diagnosis / treatment ?

Posted by

Hey, my names Amy, I’m 29 and newly diagnosed with AML, going in for my stem cell transplant this week and slightly bricking it.

I use other parts of this forum to dip in and out of for information but was hoping to get a little bit of support as I find it hard to find cancer related LGBT spaces!

Has anyone else found it difficult to engage their family in diagnosis / treatment? How have you coped with it? Have you cut ties or taken steps back from family who haven’t responded well/ at all?

My dad was taken ill around the same time I was diagnosed so I had to wait 3 weeks to tell my family, who live about 2 hours away. To be honest I have never really felt more let down, I always knew my family were dysfunctional but you would think something like cancer would give everyone some sort of magic kick start in to being supportive but they have all become quite avoidant. They do not bother to read or take anything in about my treatment and only ask very superficial questions about what’s going on as they have no idea about the medical side of stuff. They never seem to take a deep interest in to my hospital dates, my dad has just text asking how day one has gone and I have not even been admitted yet. My mum visited once, but initially said it’s too far to travel (she travels all over the country for holidays and to sing). Both of them are well and able bodied. I had only just moved to a new city and became ill 3 weeks after so have had no time to cultivate my own friendship group or support network, luckily I have the most amazing partner, but they are doing too much for one person.

Cancer can be a very isolating experience and I need support now, but I am beginning to realise they are not capable of giving. 

thoughts/experiences/advice would be nice.



Posted by

Hi twidglet welcome to the forum and thats not good about how lacking in support you feel at a time when you should have all the support that you need around you.

Families are strange breeds I think they are all different and all respond differently some good and some bad. Have they always been like this or is this new from them? The reason Im asking is Im wondering if they are struggling to deal with this happening to their daughter?.

Im wondering since you have just recently moved to a new city if you might like to give the Macmillan Line a call as they may have local groups or resources that they can point you towards which might help you connect with others.08088080000.

I am so very sorry that this is happening for you and I wish I could say something that would make it better for you but unfortunately the only thing I can say is that I am thinking of you and sending some huge big hugs for you at this difficult time for you..xxxxxx

Posted by

Hi Amy  and second welcome to the Online Community and some great support from my friend Gail .

I noticed that you are looking into the dark tunnel that is Stem Cell Transplant and I have been through two SCTs with cells from my brother and I am doing very well and you can check out my story by hitting my forum name .

As you know we have a dedicated SCT Forum where folks from various blood cancer backgrounds hang out and support each other so why not come over, hit the 'Start a Discussion' tab and introduce yourself and see the support you will get from these amazing folks.

The SCT journey is full of twists and turns so talking with people who have walked the SCT walk can help you out in many ways.

Always around to help out.

Highlander ((hugs))

Mike - Thehighlander

Some journeys take us far from home...... but some adventures lead us to our destiny  - CS Lewis