hi susan and amanda, been having problems posting on the other post so thought i would carry on here and see if it works!! how has your weekend been? susan do things feel a little easier for you this year or not really? i feel so sorry for you having all those people around you last year when i bet all you wanted to do was run didnt you? its awful with christmas coming isnt it i even go shopping online as to not have to go shopping with all the xmas things about. i feel so selfish and bitter at the moment and dont want to, i can hear my mum saying come on karen dont be like that but its hard isnt it. i feel so lonely tonight i just want to talk and have a cuddle and a kiss with my mum, sometimes it really hits even harder doesnt it? speak to you both soon, and hope you are bearing up. we all need each other dont we? my love and thoughts are with you love karen xxxxx
hope you had a good day at work, were the little darlings still full of beans or a bit calmer?
please dont think your'e no support on here, you are wonderful and so caring, your parents will be so proud of you!! i think you are doing fantastically well.
as you say even though we dont all live near each other, we have all become very good friends, and we are all here for each other!!
i went to counselling today, i got upset there but it was ok not too bad, like you very apprehensive about the thought of going, but once there not too bad is it?
when is your next one louise? take care
have a good evening speak soon, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
hope you are ok, and you have had a good day in dublin, i should imagine you will be very tired when you get home. time to put your feet up and have a nice drink, and relax!!!!
i went counselling today it was ok, its just hard raking up everything over and over again which is obviously upsetting, but at least i went this week, another achievement to add to my list ha! ha!
well i do hope you had a good day and you have a nice relaxing evening with your feet up, will speak to you soon, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
i hope you are feeling better today, please dont apologise for being down yesterday it is only natural you will be feeling this way, we are all here for you, its great we all have each other here to come to isnt it? without all of you things would be much much worse, so i thank you and everyone else for being here. i hope you have a good evening, take care speak soon, lots of love and hugs karen xxx
I was just on here and your message came through. I'm glad your counselling went ok, it must be so difficult going through everything. I'm not sure i could do that. I think you're doing really well. Yes its so good that everyone is here for each other. Do you think the counselling is helping you? How long does it last for or is it that you can spend as long as you need to? Sorry, being really nosy. Its just that i was supposed to go and dont know if i did wrong in cancelling it.
I hope your family are all ok. Speak soon, and thanks for listening. love Jayne xxx
hope your ok, not too sure if counselling is helping at the moment but have been told it should do in the long run, it is for about 50 mins - 1 hour, when the bereavement people first said thats what i needed in october i didnt want to and cancelled a few appointments then my doctor said she thought it would help a lot especially with losing mum and dad so close together, so i gave it a try, it is very hard though jayne the thought of going each week i always keep wanting to cancel before i go, speaking about everything again just brings everything up it is very sad, keep going over everything thats happened and how you feel. but i will keep going and see if it helps. i dont mean to make it sound so bad its not its just the thought of it isnt it?
So glad to hear from you again, I was getting a teeny bit worried about you. You sound a bit brighter again, are you, Karen?
I’m pleased to hear that counselling wasn’t too bad this week. Do you think you’re beginning to build up a relationship now or is it still early days? My counsellor is a warm, kind-hearted person but I don’t yet feel as comfortable talking to her as I did with the Macmillan nurse. It’s also far easier for me to express how I feel here with you people who really understand. Just talking through things over and over again will hopefully help us to slowly achieve a greater degree of acceptance. I’m not sure if I have accepted anything, even yet. Does she ask you questions, Karen? Mine doesn’t, and I often feel I would much prefer that as I think I’m just going round in circles a lot of the time. She assures me that each time I bring something up again it’s from a different perspective and I am beginning to sort things out for myself- I’m not so sure but we’ll see!!
Have you been to Weight Watchers this week? You’ll have to give my Sister-in-law a few tips; she’s not doing too well at all. I lost an awful lot of weight when Mum became ill. I think living on my own and just not bothering with food had a lot to do with it. I’ve put on a little but I know I’m still not looking after myself as well as I should.
Well Karen, that’s another tick on your achievements list. I know it’s so hard but you did it and be proud!!
Lots of love to you and all your family. Speak soon.
Louise
xxxxx
I’m so glad you’re feeling a bit better today. Once the tears start there’s just no stopping them, is there?
I know what you mean about these horrible things happening to the good people. My mum and dad always looked after themselves too. They were the most wonderful, caring parents and still had so much to live for. I still miss them both dreadfully.
You’ve applied for the job-well done. When will you hear anything? You’ll have to get shopping for these smart clothes! Good for you on the way you left your other one. He was just taking advantage, wasn’t he? I wish you were nearer and could teach me a few keyboard skills. My two fingers and I take ages to type these little messages!!
That’s a lovely idea about the photo album. I’ll maybe put something together for my brother’s kids too-don’t think I could face it just now though.
Better go and get my preparation done for tomorrow. Lovely to hear from you again, Jayne. Take care.
Thanks for that. Wow, 50mins to 1 hour, thats a long time to be talking about everything. It must be really hard going over such painful things. I hope it really does help you in the long run. I can imagine how you must feel building up to going, thats probably the worse. I'm not sure i could go over things, i'd probably keep cancelling the appointments! I think youre doing great to keep at it. Thanks for letting me know. I dont suppose i will ever know now how i wouldve got on if i kept the appointment. I hope it gets easier for you very soon. Speak soon, take care, love jayne xxx
the counsellor is nice and caring, i find her easy to talk to, but its hard to talk about your mum and dad without crying isnt it? i just keep thinking shes here to help you karen! (yes ive gone mad talking to myself again!)
not feeling too bad today thanks louise, how are you feeling? you never know how your going to feel from one minute to the next do you? i still havent accepted anything either louise, the hardest thing is to think im never going to see my mum or dad again or chat or have a cuddle with them again,and just normal daily things like going to town with mum or wanting to phone and chat, im sorry if i am upsetting and depressing you, but like you and everyone here i just miss them so much, and its really painfull isnt it?
weight watchers is tomorrow so i will let you know how i get on, like you when mum and dad were really ill and after they passed i lost weight, but a while after i put lots on due to comfort eating trying to fill the void, your poor sister in law its hard work to diet isnt it?
You’ll be tired tonight! Were the airports pretty quiet today? I would love to work away some days. The furthest I get is usually to a course in another school and nowadays they usually take place after work. I would much rather go to these before work as I’m shattered by the end of a day. Maybe I’ll suggest breakfast meetings too!!!
I’ve been looking back over some of your messages tonight. I just feel I’m slipping back again at the moment and your words of support have been so comforting and encouraging. I have to see my GP again tomorrow so maybe that’s what’s wrong. I get really anxious just now about things. Because of my family history, I think I may have to get an ECG too. I only went to see him when Mum took ill in the hope that I could get something to help me sleep for a couple of nights, now I can’t get away from him!!! It is comforting to know that I’m being monitored and cared for so well though.
I hope you manage a good night’s sleep tonight. Will you get a lie in tomorrow?
Just as the others, you and your family are in my thoughts a lot, Susan. I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about each of your stories and what you’ve all been through. It’s still so hard some days isn’t it?
Off to do my preparation now. As Karen says, put your feet up and relax. Hope your hubby had your dinner ready!!
