I was tidying a few things up today and found a few tapes from when I was in a punk band between the ages of 15 to 17. They’re definitely not musical classics, but they took right right back to a tumultuous time - I’ve included lyrics to 3 of the most personal songs - one about a girl I fancied who was going off the rails, another about a lad in my class who died of an overdose at a party on the street where my Grandma used to live and one about the first time I realised we had no chance of making it.
It reminded me that there’s tough times to get through at all stages of life. We’ve done it all before, we can do it again.
All the best
She lives in a house so quiet and tender
She likes to be so high in the sky
She loves to mix in the town so friendly
And let the world just pass her by.
But she’ll be out on her ear
If she crosses her Dad when he’s had too much beer
Yes, she’ll be out on her ear
And the world will become so bright and clear.
She wants to be a back street leader
But she’ll never be that when she’s drugged up to her eyes.
Her family have never really understood her
They seem to think she does not try
Those days have gone and you can’t go back
You’re a grown up girl don’t cry no more
Don’t hold me, I don’t really want to know you
The Coming of Dawn
Pensive moods brought to the fore
Accumulating dust in the back of my mind.
My pen don’t bring me joy no more
Distracted, stricken, lost in Neanderthal times
I can remember the last time I didn’t feel so sad
So glad to get moving, I’d forgotten what I once had
The coming of dawn
On Grandma’s old lawn
A listless life, legs strewn around
Syringes laying about
But when the heart stops beating, that’s it.
No more looking forward to a brighter day
No more looking forwards to Santa and Christmas Day
‘Cause on that one night
You went outside
And now you’re on the floor
Resting motionless on Grandma’s old lawn
Fly Guts on my Wall
Another fly gut on my wall
Another death to comfort me
Now my head’s gonna explode
Like the fly guts on my wall
Intoxication’s in my veins and
I don’t know which way to turn
Imagination fails me again
As I know I’ll never learn.
So I sit here all alone
Fight my conscience that tells me
That I’m losing all my hope
And what I want, I’ll never be
Inspiration, like persuasion,
Doesn’t work when I’m in town
Irritation, bugs like my friends
They keep on circling round.
Do you ever feel the way I feel today?
Are you ever told that your dreams are wrong?
Do people tell you to change and get along?
Make you feel like the fly guts on my wall?
What is a Community Champion?
Love this Greg- you were very insightful at such a tender age. Are you still in s band now?
Thanks very much Ruby for your kind comments! Trust me, there were lots of other songs that were more juvenile in nature! I just latched onto these 3 because they were the most personal, and they reminded me of tough times past. Those times leave a mark, but they are not the be all and end all when I look back at them objectively 25 years on. It was a useful reminder for me that even if the current moment is pretty shocking, it won’t last forever, which then got me thinking about people’s experiences of cancer, hence why I thought I would post it.
Sadly, I’m not in a band anymore. I still play about with my guitar and write songs/poetry, but I don’t do any performing. Maybe i’ll get back to it one day, although my eldest has just reached her teenage years, so I don’t think it would go down well if her Dad started playing the local pubs!!
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