Feeling really low today.  I have made the mistake, or on the other hand to prepare myself for what may happen.  I would be so grateful to hear from those who are further down the line than me.  My mind is my prison right now



  • Ju Hi , just seen your post 'Low' and for what its worth - I just wanted to throw my thoughts into the ring for you.

    On the 10th May 1999 I was told that I had a rare type of Skin Lymphoma, so for over 20 years I have lived all the levels of anxiety and stress so do understand the 'low' moments a cancer diagnosis brings...... what did I do to overcome them?

    20 years ago I was told that my condition would 'get' me at some point in time, some day, some year but with no calendar on it........ I very quickly come to realise that I could not let my condition define me.

    A good consultant friend told me very early on in my diagnosis that "all the stress and worry in the world would not change what was going to happen" - indeed he said "worry and stress could actually make me more sick regardless of what my cancer was actually doing"

    He then said "you main goal is to get a handle on the battle between the ears" He was spot on, keeping an eye on the positives helped to overnight the many negatives....... when things went wrong.....and there have been many........ I was able to ask "what is next - as there is always a next"

    Fast forward 17 years, I am in remission from a condition I was told I would never see remission from.

    I have no idea if any of this helps, but I always have thought that “Giving up is not an option”...... its more a stepping stone to what is next.

    I see a cancer journey to be like a climb up a craggy Scottish Mountain. 

    These Mountains have well trodden paths with little cairns (stones on stones) put up by the many folks who have walked these paths before us.

    At each cairn the path divides in two - these are the points of decision - like..... How we deal with side effects.....? The mental and physical challenges.....!! The picking our selves up 'again' times......!! It’s scan time again....!! How can we move on...?

    We do have to look very carefully at where each track will take us. Do we knuckle down and tough it out and keep climbing up or do we take the low path and keep going round the hill and not reaching the summit...... not seeing that view for the first time.

    When you look at the cairns they are always just on the tracks that will lead to the top. So each stone that is put on the cairns is a "yes we can do this" decision......... keep putting the stones on the 'yes' cairns....... and every now and then have a look back down the hill and see the starting point and all the little cairns on the paths you have taken.


  • Thank you so much for your wonderful response.  I see my journey as a journey through a forest with little houses with kind inhabitants where I may rest awhile before I continue with my journey through the unknown forest

    Thank you for your response Highlander, I know I will have lows but also I will meet many interesting people and learn more.

    Thank you for letting me into your house and I reckon you would make a good cup of tea lol.  Thankfully this forum exists.  I feel much better now.


    Inanna. xxx

  • Now then , I do love the picture of us all looking out our front windows and running to open our front doors with a cup of tea (or a Single Malt) to help someone journeying with cancer.

  • Hi Inanna 

    Sorry to hear you are feeling low today. I find myself having lots of low days and what gets me through them is knowing that they will pass and there will be better days.

    It is natural to want to prepare yourself for what may happen and the impact that this may have on your future life plans.

    I find this community and the group's are a great support system to have in helping me deal with my issues.

    Hope you are feeling better soon

  • Thank you  Cazza

    What is helping me so much Cazza is this forum with people like you.  It is like a cosy blanket round me.    

    Thank you

    Love Inanna xx

  • Hi again , I do hope you are doing well today.

    I tried to post a few pictures yesterday with no success, but have now figured out what I was doing wrong.

    So this is my 'mental' picture of my little house in the forest, beside a Loch in front of a tall Scottish mountain - I wish!!........ but it is images like this that reminds me that there is good out there and for us to keep focusing on the greater good in what we all have to go through.

    I also see the Online Community represented in the picture below.


  • Mike, I have read your profile and you truly are an inspiration for me.  What you have been through truly puts things in perspective for me. I love your pics and your magic house.

    You and your family are truly strong, even through the hard times.  It is a privilege to communicate with you, please keep your wisdom flowing.

    Love Inanna xx

  • , I think every unwanted cancer journey embarked on by all the amazing folks on this Community to be remarkable, inspirational and humbling. 

    I was just looking back my very long treatment journey diary....... 4 years ago today I had been 23 days in the Stem Cell Transplant unit with another 5 days to go before I was sent home. I was in a wheel chair when I went out the doors and needed to use walking sticks for the next 3 - 4 months.

    My wife and I went for a walk this afternoon in the forest just above our daughters house, we did 4 miles through the beautiful forest in the picture below and we were actually reflecting on the journey we both have been on.

    Four years ago I could not walk three steps unaided but on the day I was let out of the hospital my wife and I agreed that we would position ourselves on a positive recovery road, looking to develop wholeness and strength.

    Yes the first 2-3 years post treatment were rather bumpy, as bumpy as the craggy Scottish mountains we are looking at this afternoon but we always took the upper tracks to recovery and at the same time opening up a new view on life.


  • Beautiful picture by the Loch Mike  

  • Oh how beautiful, what a beautiful place to live.

    With love to you and your Wife

    Inanna xx