Emotional issues

Cancer can be emotionally draining, but sharing your feelings can help you and others in your situation. Talk about it here.

Will we see him again?

Outonmyown
Posted by

Hi all, new to the group. 

Me and my family live a long distance from my father who was diagnosed with cancer in August. His treatment will start next week and I was hoping to bring my children to see him one last time before the chemo changes him. It turns out that we won't be able to visit until after the first batch and he is under strict guidance to stay away from children etc for risk of infection. 

I totally understand why and of course we will stay away - it's just the pain I now feel, reality has just kicked in. Maybe we (my kids and me) will not actually ever see him again. 

I know it sounds over dramatic but I'm just so overwhelmed by this feeling. Feel a bit daft for sharing to be honest, just don't know where else to go.

buttercup01
Posted by

Hi, outonmyown,

you're not at  all  daft  n  I'm  glad you've found somewhere u can share your feelings.

Is there no way you n the kids can see him, eg like they do in an isolation ward/ room, so at least u could all see him?

Or how about Skype?

I'm just thinking laterally here, so pls excuse  me if these aren't practical solutions for u.

Having just heard I've got to go back on my meds after a break of 3.5 years, I'm a bit raw tbh but at least I can go back on them. My son's in his twenties but the thought of not seeing him ever again is just so horrible, so I know how u must feel.

Let us know if u come up with a solution.

Big hugs xx

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
ownedbystaffies
Posted by

Hi Outonmyown,

Sorry about your Dad, and the news is still pretty new, and no doubt there has been plenty of waiting, not knowing, more waiting etc. Everyone who hears they have a cancer diagnosis, or who cares about someone who does, has awful thoughts and terrors about what the future holds. I dont know what cancer your dad has or the stage etc, but do be aware that chemo is not always as awful as you anticipate. Not everyone has terrible side effects, and if you read around on this forum you will see that plenty of people live well and for a long time. So, of course  it is normal to feel devastated and bleak, but the reality may be very different from what you fear. It is sad you cant see him until after the first treatments, but as suggested there is skype, the phone etc. Someone once gave me some really good advice when my own father was diagnosed - just do more of what you would normally do with him, you dont have to make grand gestures or be completely different. Showing your love and support in whatever way you can until you can see him is what is important. A hand made card from the kids, regular texts, phone calls etc are all good things to do. Hope he gets on okay with treatment and you do find he is better than you fear.

If the world were to end tomorrow, I would still plant my apple tree today. ( unknown source)