Emotional issues

Cancer can be emotionally draining, but sharing your feelings can help you and others in your situation. Talk about it here.

Depression from Diagnosis up to now

Soundgerry54
Posted by

Hi I was diagnosed with cancer in my right lung last November - December and since then I have found myself getting angry with my partner who has stood by me all the way I feel that I shouldn't be doing this in fact I know I shouldn't but no matter how I try it just happens

Ever since my op I have had to stop work of all kinds which is depressing me more I do go out for walks to try a build myself up as instructed when I left hospital But that just about sums up my day as the pain threshold is not good I just wish I could snap out of if

Not being able to drive isn't helping either

I'm sorry if this all sounds a bit petty but it has helped me just a little by putting this on here Sorry to be a pain

Gerry
01592009
Posted by

Hi Gerry, 

So sorry to hear about your situation and the terrible loss of independence that has come with it. You've already said how you feel about taking your anger out on your partner and I respect you for recognising it and reaching out for help. That takes courage. Feeling anger isn't wrong, why would you not feel anger under the circumstances? But how we express it can make life more difficult for ourselves and those around us. We can fall into a spiral of lashing out in anger then feeling guilt for our actions which just leaves us feeling even worse. Before we know it we can find ourselves depressed and isolated. Maybe you can recognize this pattern in yourself? Or perhaps I am overstepping the mark? If so I apologise!

This forum is an excellent place to find both information and support and there are many other options available too. This website offers telephone support lines where you can ask questions, talk abt how you're feeling and also find out what other support is available. There may be local support groups where you can talk face to face? Never underestimate the value of talking to someone who's aually been through their own version of what you're experiencing, it's saved me more than once.            (apologies for the random emojies, can't delete them....)

Lastly, you are in no way a pain, please do not apologise! Speaking as the carer rather than the one experiencing the illness, I spend so much time feeling utterly helpless (and angry) that the opportunity to (hopefully!) help in some small way is a blessing.

Wishing you peace of mind and a lighter heart,

T

Soundgerry54
Posted by

Thank you so much for your reply T

I will be seeking out a local group definetly 

Thanks again

Gerry
01592009
Posted by

Thank you for reaching out, don't ever stop doing that :-) 

bellabongo
Posted by

Hi Gerry, 

Everything you say sounds normal to me, to be honest. Having to stop work, no driving, pain, etc, a bit much on the old emotions, yeah? You shouldn't have pain, they should get that sorted out, honestly. It took them a while in my case, eventually I have been given oxycodone, gapapentin, paracetamol and steroids. It worked. 

This site is good for you, come on here and vent anytime, my friend. We know what it is like, what you mean. 

Have a quiet, open and honest talk with your partner to let them know how mixed up your head is so they feel you are taking them in to your confidence, and that way you can help each other. 

Take care 

Alison xx