Emotional issues

Cancer can be emotionally draining, but sharing your feelings can help you and others in your situation. Talk about it here.

Scared of not being able to have a baby after treatment as I haven't started a family yet

Shimmer Star
Posted by

Hi everyone,

I wanted to know if anyone has been through cancer treatment (and especially chemo that affects fertility) and has had a baby successfully after it. I am hoping to try for a baby 2 years after finishing treatment as I want to finish my degree first but am scared I will have problems. I'm 30 now and I froze my eggs before chemo. I didn't go for embryos because I didn't want to risk losing them if my partner and I split or he didn't want to use them.

My periods have returned as normal and are regular but I'm scared about my fertility. It's so heartbreaking because the fertility clinic told me I was really fertile before treatment, and I don't want to regret not having a child earlier - I wanted to be set-up before being a mother but now I fear I waited too long.

Advice and support would be much appreciated - love and hugs to you all

xxx

src60
Posted by

Sorry nobody picked this up earlier - and sorry too that I have no real answers for you. I can understand your pain as my wife and I tried for nearly nine years for a child and that 14 year old in now sitting next to me.

I don't know if there is any worthwhile information available via the nurses, you could ring 0808 808 0000 anytime Monday-Friday between 9am and 8pm and speak to someone there who might be able to help.

Good luck

<<hugs>>

Steve

Razzy1986
Posted by

Hi,

I am feeling in a very similar boat. Diagnosed at 28 with BC, my partner (who's now my Husband!) were hoping to have a baby once wed. He already has three amazing children from a previous relationship, however we still wanted one of our own. I chose not to freeze eggs/ embryos prior to treatment because my chemo was very quickly arranged after diagnosis. It was also my only time to feel 'normal' just before chemo, I didn't want to be back and forth to the hospital in that time, particularly in London. Also had the politics of him having 50% say in what happened to the embryos if we were to split- something we didn't want to be thinking about seeing as we were due to marry 3 months later!

During this treatment of BC, I also found out I was BRCA1...meaning I had up to 60% chance of developing ovarian cancer too. As a result, I opted to have a bilateralsalpingo-oopherectomy- my ovaries and Fallopian tubes were removed. I do still have my womb, so can carry a baby all being well with testing. However, because my husband has three children, they won't help on the NHS. 

I am hoping to explore this more with my oncologist and surgeon to see if I can find answers. It has always been my dream to have a child of my own.  

I keep my fingers crossed for you and hope your dreams come true  xxx


Shimmer Star
Posted by

Thanks Steve, I appreciate your empathy and advice. I am trying to take one day at a time, and I've joined a fertility chat group on facebook which has helped me feel more hopeful 

Hugs to you too :-)

Shimmer Star
Posted by

Hi Razzy1986, 

I feel for you - and completely understand why you made the choices you did - I found the fertility process really stressful and was dealing with so many emotions post-diagnosis it was hard to take it all in. That's really unfair that they said they won't fund your IVF - especially as you haven't had any children of your own - could it be due to the area that you live in or is that across the board? I know the funding can differ depending on where you live (which is so unfair anyway) and your age. I really hope you can find a way to have the child you've always wanted - you've been through so much and deserve to have the child you've always dreamed of.

There's a fertility group on facebook I recently joined, as recommended by a lovely lady I was chatting to on here - which you mind find helpful - it's called YBCN Fertility Chat Group. You join by adding 'Edna Manchester' and then they ask you some questions to make sure you're not a spam account. I have found it really useful and have felt more hopeful since seeing the success stories on there, and they might be able to answer some of your questions alongside your surgeon and oncologist. 

Warmest hugs to you and I wish you the best of luck xxxx

Shimmer Star
Posted by

Hi Razzy1986,

I did a quick google and it seems like some areas can deny you IVF if your partner has children, although you can appeal. Here's the site I found the info on:

http://fertilitynetworkuk.org/for-those-trying-to-become-parents/nhs-funding/nhs-funding-faq/

I hope this helps.

Hugs xxxx