Hepatocellular cancer

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Husband has advanced hepotocellular cancer and has side effects of levatinib. He is fading but copes by sitting in front of a tv every waking moment watching trash.  I cannot get him to talk about life, memories, shared times we enjoyed or plans for how I will cope if he dies. Or anything practical for arrangements.  He’s clearly depressed but for me too It’s sad. And lonely. Just wanted to share.

  • Hi and welcome to Carers, although sad that you find the need for us, we're here for you. Your husband's reaction is not uncommon, there have been many members I've seen here over the years who have been through the same. It must be a terrible torment for you. He perhaps needs counselling support but it isn't always easy getting that in Covid times even if he will accept it. His GP can refer him for treatment whether it's depression or anxiety and the oncology team might be able to make some suggestions. You need support too so I'd contact your GP and explain how this is affecting you, it's better better to get help sooner rather than later. Click here for further support for you from the Carers Trust; they have masses of advice to give. It's also worth contacting PALS at the hospital where he's treated, as they can tell you what other supported is available during Covid changes to support.

    You're right about 'practical arrangements'; it's so important to get things organised and we, as carers, have to be pragmatic as well as supportive. You might also like to post in the liver cancer forum CLICK HERE as they will have the knowledge about that type of cancer and may be able to help you with the advice I can't give as I have no experience of that type of cancer.

    Thinking of you,

    LoobyLou
    If you find dust in my house, write your name in it. When the signatures overlap I'll get the polish. 

    Click here to see how to add details to your profile. It helps everyone to see a little about you

  • Thank you nice to know I’m not alone.  You’re right Covid makes it hard because loved ones don’t visit.  I’m also distressed and sad to see him suffering and wish he could talk to me about my own feelings and fears of being alone in a big house and in life.  If he could say I know you’re scared let’s talk I’d feel better.  I’m actually a strong capable person with a loving family but built a life around us as a couple Even though at times I found him a pain in the neck as well as a soulmate 

  • I know what you mean . I'm very emotional but capable and I manage things around him. When I need to cry I usually hide in the kitchen so as not to worry him.

    LoobyLou
    If you find dust in my house, write your name in it. When the signatures overlap I'll get the polish. 

    Click here to see how to add details to your profile. It helps everyone to see a little about you

  • And I distract myself by burying myself in work or I go out for a walk and phone a friend (they must be tired of hearing from me)  I often grumble because he chased complementary therapies against my advice (didnt trust the people) and that interfered with his first attempt at a chemo drug.

  • Hi . Well meaning people can be a pain. That must have been so annoying, missing out on some treatment. There's always an 'internet' expert around who knows more than the specialists. I make a mental note of them and tell them he's fine when they ask.

    LoobyLou
    If you find dust in my house, write your name in it. When the signatures overlap I'll get the polish. 

    Click here to see how to add details to your profile. It helps everyone to see a little about you