Why do her friends ask me how she is!

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Does anyone have any pointers to how I can get family and friends to realise that at this awful time she needs contact from them . They are not disturbing her they would make her feel comforted.

  • Hi Ballater welcome to the forum. Your post is very short so I am unclear whom it is that you are referring to when you say they are not visiting. Is this someone that you are caring for?

    It can be difficult for people to know what to say when someone is unwell and so they often stay away not realising how much the person would love to see them and thinking they are doing them a favour by allowing them time to rest.

    Maybe when someone asks how she is you could say to them that she would be happy to see them if they wanted to visit and you can arrange for that to happen.

    gail

     
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  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi, this is my daughter, she lives alone and is obviously shielding at the moment so very difficult for anyone to visit. 
    I am isolating as much as possible so that I can shop, and take her to appointments and chemo sessions that she has to spend 3 - 4 days in hospital each session.

    i have tried to be gentle with friends and family but they seem to be worried about disturbing her with messages and face times.

    i probably put this message on to vent!! Sorry.

  • Hi Ballater sorry for the delay in replying to you. Its absolutely ok to vent anytime on here we have all done it and can relate to all that you are experiencing so you are not alone. xxxx

    gail

     
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  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I think a lot of people don’t know how to respond to someone having cancer, or they are even scared of talking directly to the person so they approach the carer instead.

    They are trying to show concern while remaining slightly distant. It is unfortunately another job of the carer to say, yes actually, they are still the same person you are friends with, they would love to talk to you, although may have symptoms and tiredness, please contact them!