Partner starting Chemo

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hi. 
I'm new to this so apologies if I’m in the wrong group. If anyone wants to point me in the right direction feel free. 
My partner has incurable bowel cancer. He is 39. I’m 41. We have 2 kids ages 10 and 8. 
Up until now I’ve managed to keep most of this from the kids but now I’m going to have to tell them their dad has has cancer as he’s starting chemo in a week or so. 
He had a major op to remove rectal cancer a month ago in London but they found at the time of the op that it’s spread and incurable now.
Im terrified about him starting chemo....

1. The coronavirus!

2. telling the kids

3. how I’m actually going to cope with being confined to the house, being a teacher, home maker, money earner and now Carer? 

I just want to cry all the time as I’m so scared of going crazy but I have to keep it all together for them all? 

Any advice? Xx

  • Hi welcome to our carers only site.

    I see you have found another couple of groups too - well done very resourceful and just what I might expect from a teacher (I am vice-chair of governors in a primary).

    I would guess your children have probably guessed something is wrong unless you are much better at cover up than we are, so explaining what is happening will probably actually be really helpful to them, normally of course I would also say let their teachers know too but under the current situation I guess that is you. The link to the main page on talking to children in case you have not found it already is here.

    My wife too is incurable but fortunately the chemo has managed to stabilise her cancer and we have now been "living with" rather than "dying from" cancer, it is hard but we did get there but there were plenty of tears.

    One of the things that many carers find they need to learn is being just a little bit selfish to make some room to be "you", There is a lot of information to in our pages looking after someone with cancer.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to src60

    Thanks for the reply. 

    I ended up telling the kids last night as they were watching ‘celeb bake off for stand up to cancer’ and when the real life story was on it seemed to follow on without being too ‘formal’. 

    I’ll look into the other pages you’ve mentioned. 

    Glad your wife is stable and you are ok x