Carers only

Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.

Will getting to sleep get easier as time goes on?

WashboardWizard
Posted by

Hi all, My husband has only just been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and it has spread and is inoperable. It’s a very bleak outlook. I am coping pretty well, I think and by the end of each day I am so tired that I drop off to sleep quite easily. The problem comes in the early hours of the morning when I wake up, check he’s ok and then try and get back to sleep. I find I cannot switch off the worry/anxiety/fear...my thoughts just go round and round and give me no peace. Do any of you have any techniques for relaxing in this situation? My daughter says she counts backwards from 1,000 in 7s. That is beyond me, lol! I am not good at numbers.

All suggestions very much appreciated. X

Washboard Wizard.
Anon2019
Posted by

Hi WahboardWizard,

I'm sorry to hear of your situation, it sounds incredibly tough. It may not be a long term fix but I find distraction is the best sleep aide, listening to a podcast or audio book works for me, my partner (who I am caring for, he has an NET that has spread to liver) listens to white noise through an app on his phone and it’s really worked for him as he wasn’t sleeping at all well and we had some terrible long sleepless nights -everything can seem worse at night can’t it.

i hope you find something that works for you, getting proper sleep is so helpful.

best

freya x

Owl58
Posted by

I don’t know if this will help you but it gave me strength. I would lie in bed and remind myself that I was warm, comfortable and my husband was right beside me breathing and warm and I would speak to him when he wakes.  
my husband died 3 weeks ago and I am glad we didn’t waste too much time on what and when.

my heart goes out to you. Look after yourself. 

WashboardWizard
Posted by

Thanks so much, Freya. X

Washboard Wizard.
WashboardWizard
Posted by

Thank you, Owl58. X

Washboard Wizard.
Carli04
Posted by

My husband has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he's had a scan to see if has spread. I experience the same with sleep where I drop up but then wake in the early hours worrying.  Someone  once told me to not concentrate on sleep but on relaxation which has the same benefits. So I remind myself of my comfy warm bed and do a bit of deep breathing.  It's a very difficult time I know 

  

WashboardWizard
Posted by

Thanks so much, Carli04. X

Washboard Wizard.
Needing friends
Posted by

Hi there,it's flipping awful isn't it.? I have a little Mexican worry doll that I whisper my thoughts and problems to. I then tell her to keep them safe till the morning and hide her under my pillow, it helps, sometimes better than others. Much love, pamx

Needing friends
Posted by

Hi there,it's flipping awful isn't it.? I have a little Mexican worry doll that I whisper my thoughts and problems to. I then tell her to keep them safe till the morning and hide her under my pillow, it helps, sometimes better than others. Much love, pamx

Sunsarah
Posted by

hi 

My husband also has advanced prostrate cancer diagnosised in July so if you need someone to share your worries with I am here 

years ago I did a sleep clinic so here’s a few ideas turn your alarm clock around if you have one this sounds silly but was the best thing I did because minutes seem like hours get up if awake for more the 20 minutes do something relaxing write all your worries down in note book and say I can’t deal with them now x 

i think in the beginning everything  was so raw and scary just didn’t sleep it’s got better I am the opposite can’t get to sleep x 

hugs sunsarah