Carers only

Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.

Dad passed away

CanuckinScotland
Posted by

My dad passed away today. He was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in April 2019 and told he had about a year, with treatment. He got 7 months.

He was in hospice his final 10 days and being well cared for, but he had been ready to leave for most of that time. In his final 5 days he was heavily sedated, but when he would wake up all he would say is "I'm done. I'm dead. It's time, I'm ready. Let's go, I'm ready." He was exhausted and just wanted peace.

I would phone the hospice every morning for an update on how his night went, and I was constantly worried sick that he was in pain or distressed despite sedation. I know the hospice provided better care than I could at home, but I still worried.

All this to say I'm heartbroken but... relieved. He wanted to go and I hated seeing him cling on knowing how exhausted he was. I actually felt helpless not being able to make it easier for him. I hope he's at peace. 

DebbiF
Posted by

I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your loss, but I also understand what you say in your last paragraph. The words I'm typing feel very inadequate at times like these, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. 

Debbi F
Granny Sue
Posted by

Sorry for your loss take care x

Granny Sue

Granny Sue
Posted by

Sorry for your loss take care x

Granny Sue

Akela2516
Posted by

So sorry that you have lost your Dad. Take comfort that he is now at peace and not in pain and I am sure he passed in a lovely environment with the best care xxx

Minnie2011
Posted by

I’m so very sorry for your loss. My dad was also diagnosed with small cell

lung cancer in April this year and we have been told we don’t have long left with him. We made the decision to bring him home to care for him with 24 hour carers. I am absolutely heart broken and just don’t know how to cope with it all.