All over the place.

FormerMember
FormerMember
  • 2 replies
  • 46 subscribers
  • 1226 views

Hi

 I am full time carer for hubby due to multiple health conditions.

He has recently been diagnosed with malignant melanoma (on top of everything else) .

I am a trained nurse so the caring bit comes naturally but my emotions are a bit “all over the place” 

We are currently waiting on results of slnb, WLE (4 weeks ago) and ct scan (6 weeks ago) spoke to specialist nurse team today and his case will be discussed at the MDT on Thursday and we have an appointment with the specialist nurse Friday.

Hubby is of the opinion that no news is good news and if there had been anything major it would have flagged up by now, I have the niggly doubt monster whispering in my ear and saying don’t count your chickens it’s not always the case that no news is good news so I’m alternating between the positive and the less than positive. 

I’m also feeling guilt and doubt (maybe I missed the odd looking mole and it had been there longer than I think) and a bit of anger I guess..(that he already has so many issues and life is so unfair at times). 

We have discussed our feelings and also our plans for the future (esp if the outcome isn’t great) but just got everything crossed for a positive appointment next week. 

Sorry to waffle on , just needed to put my thoughts into words Slight smile

  • Hi and welcome to the community though sorry to hear about your hubby.

    You are so right life is unfair but trying to outguess the future does not really help much; the what if's are another good way to increase our stress.

    Often see nurses on here who are great at caring for others but it can be rather more difficult when things come knocking in your family.

    Fingers crossed for good news but whatever come back and we can help support you both.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Feeling the same, all over the place! I too am a trained nurse and it is all abit overwhelming! I am scared witless of him dying in hospital because my first husband died there! I am going to loose 2 husbands before I reach my mid fifties! I can not nurse him at home because my children couldn’t deal with it twice and we are separated because he has ptsd and binge drinks! I am trying to juggle children, this huge news, support hubby and I started a new job the day we found out!! It is getting very tipsy turvy and I feel out of control!!