My husband has terminal bowel cancer. Was always a foodie, now is almost frightened of food. Has only had a boiled egg all day. What can I do, he’s becoming weak, but gets in a state
In the same boat Bill ate nothing yesterday and one weetabix today .He has had brain mets twice supposedly stable at last scan in July .Just had shingles and a chest infection has a rash all over .Can only hope he will pick up we are doing all we can but you cant force peiple to eat .I offer him food several times a day and have plenty in the fridga and freezer .I just wonder if after everything he has had to endure he has had enough only time will tell .Keep posting and lots of hugs xx
Same here, my husband has spine & lung mets from Bowel primary. Diagnosed in June, not up to eating now, he has a bowl of fruit salad occasionally, yesterday he had a half a jelly too! Says food makes him feel nauseous, despite anti-nausea medication. I offer food often - but he rarely wants anything. He is weak now hasn't had a meal for over 2 weeks. I guess we find it hard as we are trying our best to get them to eat to build up their strength, but this is a whole different ball game I think. He is drinking though and I have found he really likes hot chocolate (never did before!) so I make that with full cream milk, he often doesn't drink the whole mug, but at least some goes down. Maybe try something like that?
I'm very sorry to read about your husband not eating and this can be a big worry for you.
"Lack of appetite isn't painful, but eating can be if your body can’t cope with food”
You haven't mentioned if he is taking in fluids but research shows that many people are actually more comfortable when their body doesn’t have to deal with too much fluid.
Sucking on ice chips or sips of cold water can help to relieve his symptoms if he is thirsty or has a dry mouth. But if he can’t suck or drink, you can regularly clean and moisten his mouth and lips with swabs and lip balm.
Having a boiled egg is a positive thing it gives you an indication as to how much food he can take, anymore than that on a plate might look as if its too much for him and he will reject it.
There are many protein drinks available and if you speak to your GP he may be able to prescribe drinks from the Ensure or Fortisip range which will give some nourishment and keep his fluids up, they come in small bottles and he might be able to sip them throughout the day. The range comprises milk shakes, yoghurt or soups and come in a variety of flavours.
When you give hubby his boiled egg you could maybe introduce on a separate plate a few fingers of toast and not have too much food in front of him at the one time.
The little pots of custard, jelly that you can buy in supermarkets might be handy to have a few in the cupboard, with the jelly you could dissolve it and stir in some milk or cream to make a jelly cream. Also a tub of ice cream in the freezer never goes wrong, even if he only managed a couple of spoonfuls that would be a good thing.
As you've found out when you ask hubby what he would like to eat he will tell you he is not hungry and this could be down to many reasons, it might be painful for him to eat, he might have a sore mouth or he just feels better if he doesn't eat and it is important that friends and families try not to keep on going on about it and saying things like you must eat to keep your strength up it is better if they can just be supportive to him and you, it's not really being helpful.
Whilst the cooking smell helps to stimulate our appetite, the smell of cooking may have the opposite effect on your husband and if he is able to sit somewhere in the house that the smells don't reach it might help.
Are you keeping the GP in the loop about hubby's not eating so he is being monitored closely.
All you are going through at this time is very worrying for you and you no doubt feel exhausted but it is important that you look after yourself at all times and make sure that you eat properly and have some time for yourself to recharge your batteries.
Can I ask that you keep in touch with us and if you need to rant or rave, let off steam, or just have a chat come on here and get everything off your chest and we'll be here to listen to you.
