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Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.

In sight of the finish line

panic
Posted by

Margaret has transitioned to what the doctors are calling a state of imminent demise. She has rapidly declined over the last 18 hours and has only had a handful of conscious moments. They said it could be as early as today but shouldn't be more than 3 days.

She is peaceful and pain free. Her muscles are relaxing and her wrinkles and laugh lines have vanished. She looks like she is about 30 years old and is absolutely beautiful. Someone was punching well above his weight.

She is my world and she still will be tomorrow. She will live on in the lessons she has taught our sons and our grandchildren. 

She is my always. 

The day after your journey ends, the sun will still rise.
As will you.
NellieJ
Posted by

So lovely that you are able to appreciate the beauty in the situation. Wishing you all well and will be holding you in mind. 

Granny Sue
Posted by

What a lovely tribute to your wife its also shows the power love has over death its love that keeps us going in the face of uncertainty and days when you just feel you cant go on. You will always have the spirit of your wife inside your heart nothing will ever take that away .I wish her peace and love on her final journey and you take care of yourself xx

Granny Sue

mandajayne
Posted by

thats beautiful.. sending you hugs and strength.. xxx

never give up hope
Docgil
Posted by

Beautiful words. Bless you xxx

Docgil

elephant222
Posted by

Beautiful words Panic. I have just been reading your profile,  what a difficult time you've had of it. Yet you see so many positives and have learned so much, it is an inspiration to read. Margaret sounds a beautiful person and you a loving husband.

My husband has just been told he has  "months rather than years" left. I am not believing it at the moment. 

Niobe
Posted by

Dear Ewen

I am so sorry. you will both be in my thoughts now and in the next weeks.

xxxxNiobe

Needing friends
Posted by

Dear panic, I read your posts with awe at your love, compassion, humour, and respect for your family and associates. You truly have a way with words. I am thinking of you, if that helps just a little, I just couldn't not write to express my thoughts. You make me feel humble  and tearful, both of sorrow and joy at the love you will always have with Margaret x

panic
Posted by

As in life, so as in death. Apparently no doctor is going to tell Margaret what to do. 

Although we were told she should pass by Friday, here we are welcoming Sunday morning. She has been basically non responsive for 3 days, has not eaten for over 10 days and has not taken liquids for 2 days, Marg is still hanging in there. 

Our grandchildren said their last goodbyes while she still able to respond and, as children do, have fully accepted that, to them, their beautiful nanny is gone. Would that we had the wisdom of children. 

Her nurses and her doctors keep telling us to tell her that it's OK to go. My youngest son told one of the doctors that he had probably treated the last person that told his mum what to do. He's a funny bastard that has kept all of us smiling throughout this and I love him for this.

Her doctors will shortly be increasing the pain relief dosage through her syringe driver as she is showing signs of distress in between her breakthrough injections.

My sons and I have reached the point where we want her to pass. We want her to be beyond pain. I want my sons to rediscover joy and happiness.

I would like to thank everyone on here for their love, acceptance and support. I have read and been deeply touched by your replies, messages and comments.

I have to admit I am somewhat surprised that you think that I am in any way special in the way I have cared for Marg. If you had had the privilege of knowing her you too would ask, "How could I possibly do less?".

Peace, 

Ewen :-) 

The day after your journey ends, the sun will still rise.
As will you.
mandajayne
Posted by

Bless you, Marg is one strong lady hey! I guess she wants the final say..love and peace xx

never give up hope
NellieJ
Posted by

Panic, wishing you all the best and hoping that the love between you continues to be a source of comfort when you need it.