Carers only

Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.

Wife has just been told no further treatment

Tony P
Posted by

After being diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer(inoperable) last March has had folfiri and xelox chemotherapy but cancer has spread to liver and is growing so hence no more treatment she has fought very bravely so far and coped with chemo well but kept being hospitalised with infections now at home I’m only carer I’m 64 with sever arthritis and finding it hard as nights are disturbed with constant toilet visits her legs are very week but she is determined to get up each day and come down stairs she sleeps a lot in the day although I cannot as I’m on edge in case she wakes and wants something she’s not eating very well but taking protein drinks tony

Posted by

Hi Tony I understand what you are going through and I think you will find there’s lots of support on here.

i don’t know your circumstances but there should be some help available for you via your GP or local council - please do ask for help as I  found these services are reactive not pro active, don’t wait, mention your fears and lack of rest to your GP. You need to keep your strength to help your wife.

Big hugs to you both.

Katie xx 

Posted by

Oh Tony,  it's not easy is it.  Excuse the pun and this is well used,  but bowel cancer is sh#t! Literally,  all too often!

I'm in a similar position to you except in good health myself. I get worn out by it all, but I have to keep going to do my bit.  But I couldn't do it without the fantastic support of my friends and family and of course from the specialists. 

It really does sound like you need a bit more practical help. 

Have you been in contact with your local palliative care team? They can discuss options and help you both agree what's best for both of you right now and going forward. 


Bowel cancer is shit! But we're choosing it to not be today!