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Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.

Infection

Mellow yellow
Posted by

Mum was taking into hospital yesterday the( rainbow room for end of life) she has an infection on the chest and on her leg how things can change so quick I'm between heartbroken and numb was told today she had got a little worse from yesterday I'm preparing for the worse but hoping for the best i don't want my mum to suffer anymore but I'm not ready to let her go my heart and head are at war with each other seeing that she is uncomfortable she can't get out of bed needs to pee in a pad not eating or drinking this is taking every little bit of my mum i lost my best friend just last year to stomach cancer how it rob him i now seeing it again with my mum 

src60
Posted by

Sorry to read this, it does sound like your poor mum is suffering but infections can get very serious very quickly and so it is good she in hospital. Try not to read too much in to the "rainbow room" bit though as it might just be the only bed available, my wife has been in some really quite unusual places before now.

Hope things look a bit brighter today and that your mums infection clears up, she certainly sounds like one strong lady.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Mellow yellow
Posted by

Sadly mum passed away at 7.30 to tonight I'm lost for word's . she didn't suffer to much I'm numb at the moment I've not only lost my mum I've now lost my best friend 

Bodach
Posted by

So sorry to hear that your mum passed away last night and I know that you'll find it difficult today to see beyond your sorrow, but I hope that the memories you made with your mum with give you comfort in the days to come.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ian 

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src60
Posted by

so sorry

<<hugs>>

Steve

Birdfeeder
Posted by

I am so sorry to hear your news Mellow Yellow, my heart goes out to you. 

No words of wisdom, just deep sympathy for your loss. 

Hugs Birdfeeder x

I will walk miles now for cancer charities, so others can walk beside their loved ones for as long as possible. 

flightgirl
Posted by

I am SO sorry to read this sad sad news.

You are in my thoughts, I hope you have a good network of friends around you.

Once all the paper work is sorted and after the funeral, please ALLOW yourself to grieve. Every day you manage to get up and brush your teeth, is a little victory.  Grief is a long road. If you need to vent, please send a message.

All the best, sending you hugs 

       

Mellow yellow
Posted by

I feel myself slipping I'm in dispear this over whelming feeling of emptiness what do i do, what do i say, where do i go, haven't managed to sleep everytime i close my eyes my thoughts wonder back to that final time seeing my mum like that is awful that's not how i want to remember her she was full off life bigger than life it's self... this anxiety feeling of just wanting to run away shut myself away is so strong 

My tears flow i cry like i won't stop i feel my heart broken into tiny pieces i feel like screening not my mum is not just emotional it's the physical pain then calmness comes over me for a while until the next time

Thank you for your kind word's flightgirl xx

flightgirl
Posted by

Mellow Yellow.

Grief is an absolutely HORRIBLE place to be.

I have experience of losing my big brother  in a car crash, This is by no means meant to take away your suffering , just to let you know I comprehend what you are feeling. 

we had been talking on the phone whilst I was at work, I had to cut him short mid sentence, to call. him  back, when I tried to call him 5 mins later, his phone kept going to voice mail. He was Gone.

 You will cry and cry. You will be angry, you WILL laugh, maybe not yet, but you will. Sleep will not be a friend for a long time.

My experience of  grief, is it is like an ever change tide, it has it's  own rhythm, its own flow. Nothing is the same.   The only thing I suggest, is to go with it. Do not fight it.   
Do not feel you should be stronger, able to cope, do not tell yourself  to pull your pants up and get on with it. There is No right way to feel.

IF the only thing you manage to do, is get up and brush your teeth. I say That is  a victory. If you manage to get up and go out and mix with people, even better.

It all feels very strange, the world keeps spinning, people go about their business. All you want to do is scream "Shes dead" 

It takes time, Along time to find your "new normal",


Please stay in touch with me. Rant at us, cry at us. Laugh at us  I know an online community feels distant and we cant physically hug  you.  I for one will be here for you though this journey. Please message when ever you want.   

Alex.         

Mellow yellow
Posted by

Bless you Alex

Thank you

Tracy x

Nannajan
Posted by

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. 

I dont think any of us are truly ready to say goodbye to our loved ones but can only take comfort knowing they are no longer suffering. But I guess that doesn't help right now. 

Big hugs. 

Nanno

Bowel cancer is shit! But we're choosing it to not be today!