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The Nightmare Comes to an End

Trevanna
Posted by

Sadly, my wonderful husband took his final breath at the hospice yesterday, with me and family by his bedside.  He hung on in there until our new Grandaughter arrived on Thursday evening and my son brought Florence to the hospice on Saturday to meet her grandad.  A very poignant and emotionally charged meeting.   

He was on a syringe driver for 4 days and very poorly and my dread was that his death would happen on the same day as the birth.   Bless him, I'm convinced he knew and did hang on.   He tried to open his eyes and to speak when Florence was with him and it was so touching and heartbreaking to watch.   

He's hopefully in a better place now and i have to say, after my wobble earlier last week, questioning the care he was receiving - that the hospice came into their own and were marvelous at the end.     They made sure he comfortable and wasn't in any pain right to the end and were so compassionate and caring with him, me and all our family visiting and nothing was too much trouble.    

Although heartbroken, part of me is feeling such relief, it feels like the wheels on the bus have stopped rolling.   I know, I now have all the chasing around and organizing for the funeral yet to do, but not today.   I had a friend stay over with me last night (and today) and we spent the time, chilling with a bottle of wine, snottering, reminiscing, laughing and basically remembering some of the very good times we have all spent together.   

My 14 year Grandaughter had me in bits today when she messaged to tell me that she has written a speech about grandad and could she PLEASE read it at his funeral!!!   She then came over with her mum and dad to show me a beautiful collage of photos she has put together of all her favorite times with him.   I'm not allowed to hear the speech, but her mum and dad tell me it is beautiful, very touching, sad in parts, but also funny too. 

It may sound strange to some, I don't know where my strength is coming from, but part of me is looking forward to organizing his funeral and giving him the very best send off that I can.   We have a big loving family and many, many friends and he was such a loving and wonderful husband, father, grandfather and friend to many - he deserves it.  

Ann xxx

checkeredhen
Posted by

Dear Ann,

My heart goes out to you. I have read your posts over the past weeks and I am pleased you both found peace and comfort at the end. I do not know what else to say.

Love Henx 

Balibee
Posted by

Ann

My love to you. I am so glad that he had a good end and that his family were all with him. Love to you and hugs and thank you xxxx

WifeNotNurse
Posted by

Big hugs Ann. Many, many big hugs

Sunshine55
Posted by

Dear Ann

I am Very sorry.    He is now free of pain and suffering.  


Love to you and your loved ones.  


❤️

Kayanne
Posted by

Oh Ann.I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I'm sitting here crying for you as i feel I know you although we've only spoken on here a few times. It's like one big family on here all offering advice and sympathy when needed. I hope you and your family find some strength in the fact he's not suffering anymore. I'm sure your granddaughter will have wrote something special that would have made her grandad so proud of her. 

Thinking of you and sending hugs

Kayanne

Xx



LMF
Posted by

Dear Ann

sincerest condolences on the loss of your beloved husband.

I am so glad you have such loving, supportive family and friends.

love and hugs

Lucy 

Jan12
Posted by

So sorry. Sending you warm thoughts and lots of love. Xx

Niobe
Posted by

Much love in these sad times

Xxxx

panic
Posted by

Dear Trevanna,

I can only echo what the others have already said here - there is nothing we can say to ease your pain, just know that you and your family are in our collective thoughts and prayers.


If there can be a positive, cancer has a way of instilling a strength and resilience in us that we never thought possible. 


I pray that someday soon, you wake up with sleep instead of teardrops in your eyes.


Be strong. 

Hug and love your grandkids.

Learn to love life again.


Ewen :'(

ElizabethCG
Posted by

Oh I am so sorry. I have only been a member of this group a short while and I have read your posts. 

Your words are inspirational but very sad. Sending love and best wishes for the difficult times to come. I am sure your grandchildren will be a blessing to you. 


Xx

Fiona1968
Posted by

So sorry sending my love X 

Scoobysue
Posted by

So sorry to here about your husband.I know just what your going through my husband was diagnosed 2 years ago with lung cancer and had done very well until 4th February 2017 when he ask for the Macmillan nurses to come and visit him.. He was taken into hospital on the 4th with fluid on his lung making it difficult for him to breath..They drained the fluid and on Sunday 5th  I could see a slight improvement ...then he seemed to have good days and bad days and on Wednesday 8th I was told his kidney's was failing fast and would be lucky to make it through the night .so my daughter stayed with me through the night. But sadly on Thursday 9th he passed away. It has been hard this month as the 9th June would have been his birthday and the 10th our 39 years wedding anniversary. ..sue.

Trevanna
Posted by

Oh bless you scoobysue - 

Things can change so quickly with this wicked disease, as evidenced by your experience. 

We were delighted in June 2016 after his big operation and final post op Chema and even videod him 'ringing the bell' they have a Christie hospital for people who are given the 'all clear', with all the nursing staff cheering him on.  How cruel, when that video popped up on my Facebook memories this year when he was so poorly in the hospice.  


Like you, I will have all the inevitable anniversaries hitting me in time and I'm sure that it is very, very hard.

I hope your happy memories together are becoming more frequent and that you can eventually take comfort in them. 


Ann xx

Trevanna
Posted by

Thank you all for your words of comfort not just at this time, but throughout this whole horrendous experience.   I have found the help and support of my fellow carers, invaluable.   


I have been totally overwhelmed by the many messages, texts, phone calls, cards, flowers and food parcels, that both me and my whole family have received since Trevors death on Sunday. 


Yesterday, in my wisdom, I decided to go to the hospice to collect the paperwork needed to register Trevors death - on my own.   It was a lot tougher than I imagined.  Just turning into the road had me in bits and had to stop the car to pull myself together, it just hit me that he was still there.


Today I had to go to the registrars, to obtain the death certificates,  but was sensible and took Trevs brother with me.  Once home, I started the arrangements for his funeral which I see as my final act of love for my wonderful man.    Although it was upsetting, I have also found that there is some comfort.    Strange, when the thought of doing this just a couple of days ago was worrying me so much.   My intention is to arrange the very best.   


Big hugs to you all still in the midst of this nightmare, I'm going to stick around for a wee while and keep up with all your posts. 


Ann xx