Carers only

Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.


Posted by

my sister was diagnosed with lung cancer at the end of September 2012, since then she has had chemo and radio therapy. On Monday she had a meeting with her consultant, he told her it had now spread to her liver (metastasis?). He said there was nothing more he could do to help her and when we asked about more chemo he told us it would make her very ill and is that how she wanted to spend what time she had left. As you can imagine the family is in a state of shock and are now wondering how fast things will progress without any treatment and just what to expect and be on the look out for. Any help or advice anyone can give me will be greatly appreciated... thank you 

Posted by

I have no specific advice for you Phyllis but I wanted to say that you have found yourself amongst a group of people who might be able to help explain it all.

I have recently taken over the care of my terminally ill father. He is too weak for chemo - we were told yesterday that it would simply kill him. He might also be too weak for radiotherapy. Radiotherapy is good for him because he has bone cancer and the radiotherapy will shoot the nobbly bits off to make it less painful.

My very new and limited understanding is that the rate of spread is so different amongst different people, age, race, gender etc have very little bearing. The Oncologist should be able to give you some advice about how quickly it is likely to affect your sister. Is there someone in your family that is helping deal with the appts and care? This is the person to speak to the Onc. 

Have you got loads of support in place? Macmillan, District Nurses, Social Services etc?

Bearing in mind that everyone is different.. my own experience is that we were told my father had a year left of treatment and then roughly six months after that.. But please speak to the oncologist - as I say everyone is different and everyone's growth rate is vastly different. 

Massive good luck with days/weeks/months/years ahead. xx


Cheryl B
Posted by

Oh Phyllis,  I am sorry to hear this and glad you are in this group, lots of wonderful people here.....I sure woudl get back to the oncology consultant with your questions and pint him down for answers.  Often they are reluctant but will give good info if you press when they get a little uncomfortable (who doesn't asking all this??).  Love and warm hug,XOC

Posted by


I'm so sorry to hear about your sister - it's so difficult when you are given 'that news' when there isn't anything they can do for them. My Mum was diagnosed with metastatic primary liver cancer in Sept last year and was given a 10 month prognosis WITH treatment. She had a course of RT and 3-months of chemo before being told it hasn't worked. The prognosis is now 6 months, but like you, its difficult to tell how and when things are going to happen. No one can really tell us. Only scans give us some real input into what is going on and how fast things are progressing.

I can empathise with your state of shock...this has rocked our family to our very can this be happening? 

I can't answer your questions but I do hope you find some support here in the online community. And I pray for you and your family.

Jemima x