My husband just diagnosed with colorectal cancer

Hi YerOne22 and welcome to our community, though we are always a little bit sorry to meet our new friends here.

We often comment on here that waiting for scan results and treatment to start is perhaps one of the most difficult times of all - even coining the term scanxiety. 

My wife was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma now something like 10 years ago now and I too went through the how will I cope without her and the being positive bit - crying in the shower was one of my favourites.  I was lucky enough - eventually - to find a living with less stress course that helped me concentrate on the here and now rather than a future I could not control and creating my own nightmares. Also helpful was conscious breathing techniques both in terms of dealing with the curveballs life likes to throw at us but also for helping me to relax when those pesky thoughts want to take over.

<<hugs>>

Steve

hi YerOne22 sorry you're having to deal with this. My partner was diagnosed with bile duct cancer a year ago and I recognise those feelings exactly. I think it's a balance about how much you share together and how much you hold back on your feelings to make sure your partner's not overwhelmed - and the balance shifts from time to time. 

I'd echo src60 - hopefully you can find ways to cope with stress. I had counselling (through work) which helps a lot .Deep breathing helped me too. Also finding things to take my mind off it all for a short time (I got hooked on Strictly for the first time, haha). And it was helpful to understand a bit more about anticipatory grief. We try to live day-by-day and not imagine what might or might not happen - it's not easy but when I manage to do that, it helps.

(My partner also had a temporary colostomy for previous issues - it wasn't as bad as we expected and it was reversed a couple of years later.)

Hi!

I totally get what you are going through. My husband was initially diagnosed with bowel cancer in July 2021 after `toilet issues` began at the end of 2020. Just before then he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and we started to work on that going to the gym eating healthily etc and then the bowel cancer symptoms began to surface at the end of 2020 which we didn't know was that at the time. He was then referred for a colonoscopy in May 2021 then went for CT and MRI scans which later diagnosed bowel cancer. He then went for a bowel resection where he would then have a permanent stoma. Then chemoradiation happened to reduce the tumour which had apparently been there lying dormant for 4 years previous. Surgery went ahead this January 2022 and was successful they had got it all and then in May this year after a follow up appointment with his surgeon blood tests were taken which showed his CEA (tumour markers) had risen and another CT scan confirmed the cancer had returned. He has had cycles of combined chemotherapy (CAPOX) and the 4th cycle just about floored him. We went for his oncology appointment yesterday and got the news that his cancer was now in his pelvis and has a slight showing in his lung. I know you may not want to hear this but like you after 36 years of marriage I can't contemplate a life without him and am finding it very hard to imagine that he is not going to eventually be here be that in a year or so. He was taken off his chemotherapy for now because he felt quite ill with cycle 4 and he has a lot of fluid retention so the oncologist sent him home with a course of water tablets and he will be seeing us again in two weeks' time. when hopefully they will think he is well enough to endure another form of chemotherapy or some other treatment. The oncologist said there are other treatments available but slightly reluctant to start him on something just now because blood tests showed his kidney function had reduced slightly after being normal along with his liver function all through the other chemo cycles. Nothing was said about his liver so we are guessing that's ok. I am absolutely numb and in shock and there are one thousand and one things going around in my head just now. We've began talking about practical things like if we are going to have to move house if his ability becomes nonexistent as we live in an upper flat (main door with stair leading up to it) will we need a ground level house? and just how do we tell our son. He has his own family and we have a gorgeous wee grandaughter who is just 2 years old and my husband thinks the world of her and now I feel every time I see him with her, it will tear at my heart for the thought he may not see her now grow up and how the news will affect my son he is our only child. Keep coming on here it is a good site and there will always be someone who gets what you're thinking feeling and be able to offer advice.

Vicky

sorry i meant if his mobility becomes non existent.

PattyK I understood what you meant