Breast cancer for the under-50s

Breast cancer is far less common in the under-50s, but this can leave younger people with a diagnosis feeling isolated. This group is a place for them to come together, share experiences and support each other.

Lonely and exhausted

Julsmcp
Posted by

Hi everyone, it’s been a while since I last posted. I finally finished my rollercoaster ride of treatment, last month and now I’m feeling pretty lost in the world. Anyone who tended to keep in touch during my treatment, now doesn’t, and I don’t even have the hospital staff or fellow patients to chat to.  I went through my treatment, more or less, by myself, with very little support and my employer, well, they just made life difficult.   I’m a single parent to a teenage boy, so help has not exactly been forthcoming.  Now he thinks because it’s all finished, I’m ‘fine’. Far from it!  The treatment has given me a heart condition which is now being treated with tablets, and they have their side effects which I’m now living with.  I still get shooting pains which get me down and I just want to cry.  I’ve even joined a dating site because I feel so alone but didn’t subscribe....how do you tell someone you’re just getting over cancer???  So I guess I’m looking for a friend who understands the emotional turmoil I’m now in. 

Roses123
Posted by

I am just at the start of my treatment. I also am a single parent and it is very hard. There is no one there unconditionally who you can tell your inner thoughts and worries. I go in hospital next Wednesday and I have to find someone to take me and pick me up and I do not know how I will cope when I come home. I have a teenage daughter so I hope she helps but she is a bit lazy at the moment!

You are amazing getting through all your treatment. Being a single parent is hard at the best of times.  I am sorry you feel lonely. You can chat to me anytime. I will send you a friend request later 

YogiShaz
Posted by

It might be worth asking the hospital if they can arrange transport for you next week. 

I hope you find support and someone to talk to, it’s not easy. xxx

Julsmcp
Posted by

Hi Roses123, thank you for reaching out xx

I was like a woman possessed before I went into hospital. Bought containers and cooked everything I could, which I could freeze, so we effectively had ‘ready meals’ to just defrost and it meant my son could have a meal if I wasn’t up to doing anything or eating. It paid off and would certainly recommend it. 

Fingers crossed everything goes ok for you on Wednesday. 

Beachwalker19
Posted by

Hi ,

Just wondered how you were doing?

Im not a single parent, so can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I’m 4 months post treatment after 9 months of ops, chemo and radiotherapy. I’m wondered ‘ What now’.

I lost my job before treatment, I’m a home help and the lady I worked for died, she had become a dear friend and I took it quite badly. I decided to spend the summer with my 2 youngest children before looking at jobs, however I was diagnosed last October.

Most of my friends work, hubby works long hrs or is sometimes away working. (He worked away in London for about 6 yrs, before my diagnosis.)

Im not sure what to do now really, as most ppl think after chemo or radiotherapy you are alright now, back to normal..HAHA, if only.

Im living with severe phlebitis in chemo arm and Lymphoedema in the other arm! It does get you down, especially when these things may not ever go away.

I understand your feelings and here to chat if you wish x

Netty113
Posted by

Hi julsmcp,

Your post triggered one of my thoughts. I am still going through treatment but have had my surgery now and recovering now. Everyone keeps telling me how well I look and can’t get over how well I look especially at work as I have popped in a couple of times now that I am driving again. I said to my HR dept and to my partner that I may look well on the outside but I’m not on the inside as I have so many emotions still which trigger into tears at any moment, I have the constant scars of I had cancer which I try to laugh it off now with friends  and I feel tired easily so I cannot rush around anymore or stay up late. 

I am beginning to understand the saying on here that this is my new normal. Cancer really knocks you off your feet and takes it toll on your body and mind.

Love Netty xx

Netty113
Posted by

Hi Roses123,

how are you feeling now? Hope that you’re ok and getting there slowly? 

Much love 

Netty xx

Bevoir
Posted by

Hi Netty,

Your post spoke to me, as I’m struggling with all of my emotions during this roller coaster ride.  I’ve had surgery and am halfway through my chemo treatment and thought I was doing okay, until I was hit by these horrible waves of emotion and anxiety.  It’s brutal.

I just wanted to reach out and say hello and that I hope you’re doing okay,

Take care 

B x

Netty113
Posted by

Hi Bevoir 

the emotions we go through are brutal and sometimes we think am I dreaming about what has happened to all of us. My emotions are up and down especially like you say we think ok I got this and whammy the tears start and the fear sets in. 

I hope that you’re feeling ok especially with having Chemo? How are you feeling on it? I am fortunate enough to not need Chemo but will be starting radiotherapy in a couple of weeks and have already started the hormone therapy treatment.  I have signed up for medicine exercise for 12 weeks which is part of my treatment package and had my assessment today. Yikes I am unfit but I thought I would give it as it’s better for your recovery.

I am doing much better now I have my treatment plan and know where I am heading plus I have been trying to go for walks as that helps. The main thing is we keep fighting and never give up. before we know it our rides will come to an end Yippee and we will have our new normal lives. I can’t wait to have that again but after treatment finishes I have my last hurdle later next year to get my other breast reduced to match. 

Thinking of you and keep posting and sending us messages as it’s ok to feel rubbish somedays  we need to let it all out to feel better as it’s part of the healing process.

Sending hugs.

Love Netty xxxx