Breast cancer for the under-50s

Breast cancer is far less common in the under-50s, but this can leave younger people with a diagnosis feeling isolated. This group is a place for them to come together, share experiences and support each other.

Telling the children.

Sukki17
Posted by

I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer, ( yesterday. )   I am frightened of telling the children and scared that I won't be strong enough for them.   I am actually still in shock myself..   I am  having a lumpectomy next Wednesday.. Would love to chat to somebody who has had this..  How do you feel afterwards?    Lots of questions... whizzing around my head.. 

Beachwalker19
Posted by

Hi

I was diagnosed in Oct last year and it was hard enough for us to get our heads round, I couldn’t imagine how my kids would feel and one of my daughters was about to do her mock exams.

We decided not to tell them till after all my results from ct scans etc were in.

I had a mastectomy first, We told them I was having a lump removed. I then had lymph node clearance as a day patient 3 weeks later, I had all the scans, then we decided to wait till after Christmas and I told them in the January, luckily everything else was clear on the scans

Im not going to lie, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Depending on the age of your children, I would just to honest, I think mine  apprieciated the honesty.

Macmillan have a booklet on Talking to children I found this out after i’d told mine. I did speak to a lovely lady at my Macmillan centre, who said she thought I’d done a good job of telling them. I told them my ‘lump’ had been cancerous as were a few of the nodes under my arm, but the lump was gone ( I didn’t see the point of telling them I’d had a mastectomy) that I was going to have chemo as a precaution, I said it could make me ill for a while but in the long run it was the best thing for me, I told them about side effects of chemo and I’d be having radiotherapy as well. I reassured them as much as possible, told them not to google as info is outdated and mostly incorrect. I said there are so many different types of cancer, not to listen to Joe bloggs whose uncle died etc and that my treatment was specially designed for me.

They were obviously very upset, especially my younger two, who were 15 and 13 at the time, the other two are older and living away from home.

Gentle hugs x

Beachwalker19
Posted by

Hi 

I was diagnosed in Oct last year and it was hard enough for us to get our heads round, I couldn’t imagine how my kids would feel and one of my daughters was about to do her mock exams.

We decided not to tell them till after all my results from ct scans etc were in.

I had a mastectomy first, We told them I was having a lump removed. I then had lymph node clearance as a day patient 3 weeks later, I had all the scans, then we decided to wait till after Christmas and I told them in the January, luckily everything else was clear on the scans

Im not going to lie, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Depending on the age of your children, I would just to honest, I think mine  apprieciated the honesty.

Macmillan have a booklet on Talking to children I found this out after i’d told mine. I did speak to a lovely lady at my Macmillan centre, who said she thought I’d done a good job of telling them. I told them my ‘lump’ had been cancerous as were a few of the nodes under my arm, but the lump was gone ( I didn’t see the point of telling them I’d had a mastectomy) that I was going to have chemo as a precaution, I said it could make me ill for a while but in the long run it was the best thing for me, I told them about side effects of chemo and I’d be having radiotherapy as well. I reassured them as much as possible, told them not to google as info is outdated and mostly incorrect. I said there are so many different types of cancer, not to listen to Joe bloggs whose uncle died etc and that my treatment was specially designed for me.

They were obviously very upset, especially my younger two, who were 15 and 13 at the time, the other two are older and living away from home.

Gentle hugs x

Sukki17
Posted by

Dear Beachwalker 19

  • Thank you very very much for your advice. ..I am dreading it but i think I will feel better when I have told them.  I have been in the house on my own since hearing my diagnosis, as all the children and my husband are away.  Not very healthy for my mental stage, - but at least I have had a bit of time to get my head around things.
  •  So mixed feelings - cant wait to see them all, but not looking forward to telling them!
  • I hope you are better now.. 
  • Sukki17 x
Beachwalker19
Posted by

O gosh it’s a lot to deal with alone, my hubby was working away at the time of my first Breast Clinic appointment for the mammo’s etc. My friend was with me.

We are here if you want to chat or rant in the meantime till your family get home.

Good Luck x