Breast cancer for the under-50s

Breast cancer is far less common in the under-50s, but this can leave younger people with a diagnosis feeling isolated. This group is a place for them to come together, share experiences and support each other.

Just found this group

Posted by
I'm 46 and I have had a lump removed and had to go back and have extra clearance taken. I've started my chemo and have had 3 FEC and I'm having my first taxotere on Tuesday as well as starting Herceptin.
I have found the FEC reasonably easy to put up with as long as I take it easy. I have lost my hair and look a little like a shaved hedgehog but I think bits are starting to grow back.
The hardest part for me is the emotional side of this horrible thing called cancer. I cry at adverts ? I get angry at anything. My moods swing from one to the next. I have two boys 17 and 13 and I worry how this is effecting them. My husband doesn't live with us but up to a fortnight ago he was caring for me during this, but he decided to find himself someone else. He said the house was miserable and he didn't want to be here. So now it's getting difficult to tell what's the cancer and what's him being an arse..
Does anyone else struggle with their emotions and is it the medication ? Does it go off after the chemo or does the Herceptin make it worse ?
God I'm so angry and sad but got no one other than on hear to rant to and ask advice from. Thanks for the chance too rant
Jane x
Posted by

Hi Jane,

I don't come on here very much any more, and just had a relatively minor brush with the old BC last year (DCIS with small op and rads, no chemo) but I still get all of the emails, although have to admit I don't read them all as avidly as I used to last year, but I did read yours and I promise you hon, you've come to the right place.  Everyone on here is majorly supportive, and it sounds like you need it at the moment.  

Sounds like you have got an arse of a husband - I know cancer affects everyone, not just the actual sufferer, but c'mon, really?  The house was miserable.... GET A LIFE MATE!!!!  What does he expect?

I'm sure there will be lots of ladies responding soon who will give you loads of advice - is really is a God-send of a place to come when you really need it.


Posted by
Hi Jane, I too am currently having chemo FEC~T and Herceptin, however, I've only had one so far, next one is on Wednesday. I cried at the Sainsbury and tesco Christmas adverts too, but so did my 15 year old daughter, so don't worry it's prob a girly thing. Mood swings are prob down to the whole frustrating situation of having an arse of a husband and living in a male environment whilst having cancer, it's a roller coaster. Speak to your chemo nurse and see if the drugs do cause an imbalance, it may be hormonal, chemo can bring on the menapause, such joy...NOT,, Don't know about you but 2013 has been utter pants, I've had lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, then a mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction, a blood clot and a nasty infection and now copious amounts of drugs. 2014 will have to be better, I feel like I've retired at the grand age of 43, bored ain't the word! My hair started to fall out yesterday, once that starts when should I expect to be bald, it looks ok at the moment as it was really long and thick, and now just a little bit thinner. Sleeping is also a problem, it's 5am and I've been up since 2am, at least I've managed to do a little Christmas shopping. Take care Jane, this website is a great support, if you fancy a chat inbox me xx Sara x
Posted by

I have just had second round of FEC and have to completely agree with the crying at adverts thing! The john lewis one made me bawl, steer clear at all costs. My hair did the same thing for about 5 days, slowly falling out but still enough to get by, then it got to the point where I was looking like a fire victim so i decided it was time for the big chop. My hair was immensely thick before and I now have a very sparse hedgehog look going on and expect to lose the rest on this cycle.

I can also sympathise with the insomnia, I appear to be awake at 4 am and passed out at 4pm. Not sure if you guys are on dexamethasone or similar steroid but if so that has a reasonable part to play in messing up sleep patterns.  

I am a bit younger than you guys having just turned 31 (so fun trying not to vomit on your birthday no?) and have no children, yet – pre chemo egg retrieval for the win! So I can't imagine what it is like trying to cope with that part of family life also but can completely sympathise with other family members deciding they have had enough. One member of my family decided to pull a hissy fit due to not enough attention because apparently she had way less support when she was pregnant than I have with cancer...we all have our 'special' family members (I love her but want to kill her at the same time).

2013 has been similarly bleurgh for me (multiple complications with literally every stage of treatment) so here is hoping that 2014 brings an easier time for all of us.

By the way, I decided that if I was going to lose it I might as well have some fun and found this site where you can get wigs for about £25 They are fun ones and I have a couple of insanely coloured ones from them but have to say I wore a brown bob from there and people just said how shiny my hair looked, didn’t even notice that it was a synthetic wig :) 

Similarly, feel free to message me x

Posted by
Gosh, you have had it tough Jane. If a cancer diagnosis and treatment wasn't bad enough you have experienced a relationship breakdown. I think the emotional aspects of treatment are completely over looked. The Macmillan advisors are fantastic, I called when I was very down and it helped to talk things through with them. I finished my treatment last Sept and really the only public evidence if my treatment is my short hair. 2012 was terrible but 2013 has been great so I hope you all have a better 2014 xxx
Posted by
Hi, Thanks for the reply, I'm still hanging onto my hair, don't really know why as it's coming out in handfuls. I'm going out tonight with my husband and friends who haven't seen me since before I was diagnosed, I can't wear my wig as my own hair makes is bulky, and my own hair looks ehh... Decisions... Decisions!. The wig website to attached looks great, wish I had seen it sooner as I've spend £300 on two wigs, one prescription and one a rip off, one thinks. Having your eggs saved was a good move, my friend husband had to due to cancer, they have a beautiful little boy now. Coping with family life is fine, my son is 21 and at university and my daughter is 15, and I'm very blessed to have a husband sent from heaven, having cancer has bought us even closer, I've shown qualities and strengths that I haven't seen in the past 24 years. Your family member sounds like a right diva,pregnancy is a pleasurable condition not a critical illness, she wants to wise up. I also took that steroid for the first 5 days post chemo, but I think I have just got into bad habits with sleep and because I've gone from a active gym bunny and working full time to taking it easy all of the time. I was thinking about going back to the gym, when I'm having good days as I'm recovered from surgery now, but I'm worried about germs, they say not to swim and it's so cold out that my husband is still walking Dylan, our dog. Take care, have a nice weekend, Sara x