So I have just finished my 6 cycles of FEC-T had my mastectomy and reconstruction sept 2020. Surgery was first option as all signs pointed to no lymph node involvement but ended up 16/23 lymph nodes managed to get themselves in the middle of it all. So started chemo next step radiotherapy and tamoxifen. I have 3 boys age 21,18,17 and a 5 year old girl. 5 year old was hitting the 17 year old and held her arms across her chest I immediately dealt with it but my 5 year old was going to her aunt's on her dad's side and told the story that my 17 year old had grabbed her by the throat so she wouldn't get told off for hitting him. This was talked about to her paternal grandmother and her dad and I tried to explain what had happened but felt like I was being made out I was lying in my bed 5 days after chemo not knowing what was happening to my 5 year old. Then today I received a phone call from the paternal grandmother to say she was really upset with what had happened to my daughter I agn tried to explain to be met with the answer that more or less because of the cancer and chemo I don't have the energy to deal with what really happened. I got a little angry and said I was there when it happened and dealt with it straight away but it seems like people don't want to believe what I'm saying instead implying I'm leaving one of my kids in danger. She replied that she has every right to be angry but I should calm down and then said I'm getting angry over little things and I should let her process what happened and I should focus on my illness and getting better. I should add during my illness and treatment so far she has taken my daughter about 3 times in total saying it's better if I rely on my son's to help out. Loads of times she has said she would take my daughter for a few hours and couldn't as she was too tired and also she knows what the fatigue is like and no she has never had cancer or the treatment. I secretly videoed me and my daughter having a talk about what happened with her brother and why she told her aunt that he had grabbed her by the neck and sent it in a group message to her aunt and grandmother with the heading hope this clears everything up. Now im questioning am I reacting wrong am I being too sensitive am I more easily angry at stupid things. Any help or advice greatly appreciated I'm feeling lost
Hi Blueducky welcome to the forum. That sounds like people interfering where they shouldn't be and they probably think that they are helping when in actual fact they are not. The other thing is you have enough to deal with without all that extra drama.
Can I ask where your daughters dad is in all this whats his take on this? It sounds like you have every reason to feel angry though with whats going on but hey don't let the drama in, you need every ounce of your energy to get you through this treatment. xx
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Just an update so my daughter's aunt just messaged me that her and her mother are considering their options as they have to put my daughter's welfare first and I'm clearly not thinking straight. She was upset at having to watch her niece confess and how would she know what's right from wrong and also I am justifying my son's actions I'm fed up to be honest I always put my kids safety first I don't know what they wanted me to do with my son other than talk to him about being more gentle with his sister who he does actually adore bit also loves winding her up. Now I have the added worry of where they are going with this. My daughter's dad tiptoes around his mother and in the past when we have split up has stirred things up between us but it's all done in a way that is underhand. Do I believe he will have it 8n him to stand up to them both no I don't they are a formidable and toxic pair but I'm not backing down on this. My daughter is happy loving kind and sensitive she is usually constantly at my side and sleeps with me so how they say they are concerned with her welfare and are considering their options when they haven't even asked to see her is beyond me. I'm usually very laid back and forgiving even to the extent I will apologise first even if I haven't done anything but cancer has changed me I have still treatment to go and a reason to fight to be here for my kids I just don't need any other drama
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