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Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

Returning to work - any thoughts

Lizzy-K
Posted by

So I had the call and am going back to work next week.

I've been off for 3 months now and am in a laid back space, I get up early to walk the dogs and then do whatever jobs on my to do list. After that my time is my own.

So my question - 

how do I motivate myself to work at home when the temptations to sit in the garden, listening to music whilst messaging a friend or reading a new book that was recommended and I can't put down are so much greater than the call of my laptop and the concentration needed to work without getting distracted? 

 
Cry because it's over but smile because it happened 
AliG55
Posted by

Oh that is a difficult one. I went back after 7 weeks but I work for Tesco so had to physically leave the house!

It did me good too, other people to chat to and distracted by work in a good way, made me feel normal for a few hours a day.

I think you're going to have to designate a space at home just for working (if you haven't got an office) I know a lot of my friends are working from home and have had to adapt bedrooms, halls etc. Into workspaces so they don't get distracted by other things.

Good luck and I hope it goes well. I do think it does us good to get a bit of 'normal' back in our lives.

Ali x

martin e
Posted by

Hi lizzy 

Ali is right going to work is a distraction keeps you busy and you talk to people gives you a bit of normal life back and you have to put a happy face on sometimes 

i hate coming home from work to a empty flat then don’t want to do anything but go for it

take care 

Martin x

Lizzy-K
Posted by

You are right Ali I  need to designate a work zone and hide my phone!

 
Cry because it's over but smile because it happened 
mccmcc
Posted by

HiLIzzy

Obviously working from home myself (lesson prep, classes, writing (must finish one of my books!) as Ali said find a distraction free place and create work there, but also I would suggest trying to keep it to regular hours which will be the most difficult bit as it's so easy to 'do it later'

Set the plan and try to stick to it,but like everything, creating the plan is the easy bit!

"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"

Lizzy-K
Posted by

Thank you! I've always been good at organising and planning  but like you say its sticking to it that will be the issue.

 
Cry because it's over but smile because it happened 
mccmcc
Posted by

So you're halfway there! I think my time management bucket is full of holes!

"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"

Ebony12
Posted by

Hi Lizzy-K

stick to a start and finish time, designate a work area.

but working from home is a bit more relaxed, having background music on helps concentration.

and .... perks.... I’m sure it will be fine if you take tour laptop in garden when weather is good.

#bestofbothworlds

Good luck, once week one is over, you will find it gets easier.

Much love

karen

Grief is the flip side of love
Lizzy-K
Posted by

Thank you Karen - you are right it's the initial walking through the door tomorrow to pick everything up.

Once I'm back here I will be fine. I've got a proper work space now, and got a proper chair coming spent the first part of the year trying to work from home whilst caring for Sam working sat the floor & coffee table most of the time, not ideal at all!

Just have to be self disciplined and hide the mobile phone which has become my lifeline!

Lizzy

 
Cry because it's over but smile because it happened 
AliG55
Posted by

Morning Lizzy,

Hope it went ok this morning at work and you didn't get too many 'sympathy stares'....they are the worse!

Have a good day when you're back home. You've done it now, next time will be a little easier.

Take care. Ali x

mccmcc
Posted by

Hi Lizzy

Hope today went (is going) well and you can get into a routine as soon as. Fingers crossed it went OK!

"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"

NellieJ
Posted by

Ebony12 mentioned background music - so I am chipping in on that while I burn my dinner.

I have been using a radio station on the InterWeb called Radio Garden.   http://radio.garden/   Just Googlate  the term and you find a site which takes you to a map of the world with all the digital radio stations around the world on.   Today I seem to have been listening to Mongolian / Russian pan pipe pop music . 

I find it rather helpful that there is a whole world of radio out there and at a click of a mouse you can go all around the world.  And some funny gems of New Zealand Chat show with Farmers complaining about no signal to run a business and standing on the cow shed roof, or the Port Stanley crime update - Mrs Green at 89 has been banned from driving, or the Croatian station with local musicians.  Transportation to other places in just a few clicks  -  Working at home needs a few outside moments, maybe as does grief.   I am off to El Salvador.....

Lizzy-K
Posted by

Hi Ali and Mick

Work went ok thank you it was strange having to get ready "properly" and go somewhere.

People seemed pleased to see me but everything looked so different 

I then had just over a thousand emails to go through 

How's the house sitting going Mick?

Lizzy 

 
Cry because it's over but smile because it happened 
mccmcc
Posted by

Hello Lizzy

Glad you had a good day today and hopefully you can sift through the emails, I bet there's only about 10 that are important!

House sitting going OK so far bit of an accident, I scared the cat after Treading on a cake. I shouted a bit savagely I reckon the cat thought I was a right nutter.

MCC

"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"

mccmcc
Posted by

Nellie I'd suggest you try Padre Pio or Radio Maria good stuff...

"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"