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Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

Worrying times

Posted by

Hi All,

I hope you are all holding up! Got food in etc! I am a little anxious about work as s private health care nurse in pre op assessment! I am worried that I could be redeployed to NHS hospital which I have a complaint about regarding my husband's care. I also have quite bad asthma and my children are worried about me..

My daughter is very upset about school closing and not being able to sit her GCSES! She has worked so.hard, should be getting good grades and will be upset if they just give a pass as this is no reflection on her abilities. She is worried that she won't be able to go to college or they may delay her education! She is a September child so is more than ready to move on! 

My son says he can sometimes work from home but he has had to have contact with older customers!!! He didn't get the promotional job so was fed up! I have given him lots of encouragement because he still has a good job and a secure one. 

I hate go say it but I am.relieved Ric won't have had to struggle through these. All our loved ones would have had fear and a nightmare. May they protect us and watch over us.

At least I won't be able to eat as much chocolate!!! 

Take care everyone!!! 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Posted by

Dear Alison

Life never goes according to our wishes. I know I'm 74 and have been through a lot of life. Yet somehow things always turn out OK. It's a strange world we live in. Believe me everything will be fine . It's a waiting game that stresses us out big time. 

Love and Light 


At the end of all our journeying will be to find ourselves back where we started knowing the place for the first time. TS ELIOT.

Posted by

Hi Alison and all,

Very worrying times indeed. I still remember the day at the beginning of March when it was on the news that we had the first Corona Virus case in Ireland. Now we have 400 something cases on the whole island of Ireland and I think 350 or so in the republic. This virus is spreading fast. Last Friday we were told that all shops, apart from grocery and pharmacies, would close over the weekend. There are restrictions in place in all grocery stores so that people don't come too close to each other. Social distancing is emphasised everywhere constantly.

I closed my practice Healing Well on Friday until further notice, probably until well into Apriol. Thankfully I can still do the transcription work I do from home.

It is so quiet everywhere. I can't help feeling very isolated from the world and, if I go out, everything has to be well thought through as in where to go and to be mindful of social distance and to disinfect myself when I come home.

Thankfully one of my friends lives next door and we keep meeting up for a drink or two every night and we help each other out wherever we can. I haven't been able to see any other friends or family. Well, my family is in Germany so that wouldn't be possible anyway.

I am afraid that this isolation will bring on the grieving more again. Because, as I have said here many many times before, for me it is absolutely vital to keep busy, to be busy at all times, to have something to work on and people to see and things to be doing around the house... Yesterday I cleared out cupboards in the kitchen and cleaned my whole house from top to bottom, today I am going to clean the windows... But there is only so much one can do.

I was thinking about starting an online course or something like that but I don't really feel able to concentrate on anything for long, I feel to edgy or unsettled or something like that.

Are you all the same?

And, Alison, I have to agree with you: I wouldn't want Paul to be here for this either. I have been thinking of him quite a bit lately and how it would work if he was still here.

Love, Mel.

I don't like "moving on" because it sounds like leaving our loved one and all that happened behind. But I like "moving forward" because it means that, in spite of my tremendous loss and the pain about that, I move forward in my own life taking Paul with me.
Posted by

Our university has finally closed here and I have been as busy as a bee putting courses online. What I've realized is that being occupied for almost the whole day like I was yesterday did help me forget everything but as I have a little less to do today, the tears have started to flow today. Plus, I looked at the date, saw it's the 19th and thought, GRRR, 15 months tomorrow. And, here I am again, sobbing as I write. 

I agree with you all. I'm glad Gilles didn't have to live through this crisis during his illness. Can you imagine if we couldn't even visit our spouses in hospital? 

Anway, hope you all keep safe. Protect yourselves and your families.