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Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

So painful......

Sportster
Posted by

Hi everyone,

I have been reading posts here for weeks, but tonight I felt brave enough to sign up and post for the first time.

I lost my darling husband 9 weeks ago, after just 9 weeks of illness.

I am utterly heartbroken.  I am surrounded by a loving family, close friends and caring neighbours, but still feel so lost without him.  I cannot accept that he won’t be coming home; in fact I struggle with a constant feeling of needing to do ‘something’ to help him come home.  

We had plans for a busy and happy retirement together, which hadn’t even started - so cruelly taken away from him. 

I am trying to take one day at a time (as I am constantly being told); because a life without him is too painful to contemplate.

Thank you for reading/listening.

Sportster x
jane15
Posted by

Hi Sportster,

Like you I took a while to post on here, but needed people who understood. My husband died Christmas Eve, we had been together 52 years. I feel just like you do, cannot except that he won't be coming home, I find it too painful to look  at photo's of us together sometimes.Don't think I'll ever stop crying.

Jane

Sheilaj
Posted by

Same here everyone. 8 weeks into this grieving journey and had a better few days with family distractions especially Grandchildren then when all that stopped - Bam the grief hit me smack in the face again last night with very little sleep and overwhelming sobbing looking at photos and videos when I can here and see my Bob in his prime before the illness hit him hard.

Our retirement was taken away from us before it began and I’m in Avery dark place once again. There seems to be no easing of this debilitating grief even though I’m trying really hard and tell myself he would hate to see me like this. 

I don’t think this will ever get any easier.

Sheila x

Murry1
Posted by

I also have been reading the letters for a few months now but not had the courage to answer . But I just connected to you as I am in the same position x I lost my lovely husband on 8th March I am so heartbroken     I can’t contemplate a life without him we have been together since I was 15yrs and Billy 18yrs  I need him so badly x nothing is getting any better x I too am surrounded by a wonderful family and friends. But I stay home every day x we also still had lots of plans and I can’t bare to think of anything without him here   Willing him to come back x

thinking of all of you in this dreadful situation. SKEL xxxx