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Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

United by our losses

Mabelmum
Posted by

Hi Everyone,

We all seem to be feeling much the same reading all the responses to my other post. Put the tv on but lose interest/concentration/just can't be bothered to watch anything, i do read. Yes eating chocolate and other rubbish. Reading what a few people have said about their loved ones ashes. Still waiting for that, paid for a plot in the garden of remembrance but that can't happen as it flooded, have not had any information about this but funeral directors told me. Bought my son's  birthday card which is horrible because it is only going to be from me, he is first for a birthday after husband's passing. We are 8 weeks tomorrow and it feels like a lifetime. 

Thank you everyone for your support.

Wishing you all a peaceful night and maybe a better day tomorrow.

xxxxxxxxx   

Mabelmum xx
Sheilaj
Posted by

Hi Mabelmum,

You must have lost you darling Husband at almost the same time as I lost my Bob (17th January 2020) Burned on my Brain forever.

It is like something I cannot even put into words the grief i'm feelng well should I say we are all feeling and we all seem to just get by hour by hour the best way we can. I personally am lost, alone have the biggest ache in my heart and a black cloud above my head. Nothing is important to me anymore, my house, my job nothing. I can't stop crying and I am just not ME anymore.

I have wonderful family and friends who keep telling me how well i'm doing but they don't see me talking to his photo, cuddling his shirt and sobbing at night.

It was my Bob's birthday on 28th Feb and I still sent him a card and a single red rose. I have sent a couple of cards since Bob's passing and I still signed his name, just can't not do so.

Talking on this site is great for me as I feel like I am not going through this alone and not going mad we are all grieving and pretty much all going through and dealing with it in the same way (Not very well)

Take care, keep putting that one foot in front of the other.

Sheila

Newb
Posted by

Hi Mabel mum I to have a plot in garden of rememberace it's very comforting and also a place for my ashes when to time comes I go every Saturday I cry and rant but it is a place to talk to our loved ones in a peaceful environment

Ian
Akela2516
Posted by

Hi, 

I am going through a down stage, 11 weeks for me. I am usually a positive person. I don't think I am depressed but just struggling a little as everyone thinks we are getting on with life and we aren't when alone! 

Perhaps this Corona virus thing is not helping. I keep thinking how Ill that would have made Ric and wonder if it would have killed him. I am not sure why I keep thinking that as it is irrelevant! Although he would have had plenty to say about it!!! Lol. It would have called for some amusing discussions as we would have been sure to disagree! I do not want to be put on a lock down, I hate being tied to one place! Not sure that I will be able to scatter Ric when.plsnned as his reunion may well be cancelled! 

Xxx

sunnyboy
Posted by

good morning sheila life is so difficult with out our partners the past year was awful for me I just want her back weekends are worse for me mostly end up crying and begging my love please come back for me . I've lost count of days spent with tears streaming down my face just to be in my love s arms again and hold her tight just miss that woman so much don't think the pain in my heart will ever pass .

Lavender1969
Posted by

I have been feeling under a lock down since I lost my husband in July last year. This coronavirus will not make much difference to me this way. Only leaving the house when going to work or got appointments. Got very few friends, who have their own lives, so we see each other very rarely. A friend, we exchange emails with. My family lives abroad. Often I think, how much longer can I keep my sanity living this life. The only sound in the house is the TV or the ticking of the mantel clock. 

Take care All. 

Sending you All a big hug and a big THANK YOU FOR LISTENING

Love

Andrea xxx

  • Andrea xxx
winmick
Posted by

Hi Andrea. I get exactly what you say about lockdown, this weekend has been exceptional bad for me for some reason. Don’t know why ( well I do really ). I feel the same way about my sanity, I can’t imagine the foreseeable future like this. 
. Sent you a pm. 
mike. 

Love you always Winnie xx
jane15
Posted by

Hi Andrea, I feel exactly like you, hate every day and wonder what the point is. It's just so lonely. I lost my husband on Christmas Eve, people keep saying it's early days yet, but unless you're going through this they have no idea. I only keep my sanity as I have my daughter and grandchildren to think of.

Jane

Akela2516
Posted by

Hi Jane, 

My husband passed on 28th Dec. It was our anniversary on the 23rd. Does it make it worse that it was Christmas I wonder? I am sure it will this year. 

It is lonely but I am also lucky that I have my two children who are both hitting milestones this year, 21st birthday and leaving school and prom and learning to drive! 

I am trying to look forward and Ric would expect that but it was far sooner than expected and I didn't get chance for that last hug me and kiss because it wasn't expected xxx

jane15
Posted by

Hi Akela,

My husband was hoping that he would be with us on Christmas day to see the grandchildren open their presents, but passed away Christmas Eve with me and our daughter with him at home.

We had been together for 52 years, we met as teenagers. We were looking forward to our retirement years and now it's so hard to be on my own and face the future without him.

At the moment I can't see how I feel ever changing.

Jane

Akela2516
Posted by

That is so sad for you. My husband wanted to attend his regimental reunion in 3 weeks time and see my daughter's prom! He was cheated out of both! We had been told he would have at least a year but he had 2 1/2 months!!! 

I guess we will adapt over time xxx