Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

Arrrrrgh

Wanting2know
Posted by

I want him back, the distractions distract but the reality I don’t like or want.  Miss him so much. We were us now I an lost.  I can do but I can’t believe I’ve lost him

stupid post I know but struggling at the moment.

Wildcat
Posted by

It's not stupid at all. 

What you're saying we can all relate to. I know I do, the one thing I want is the one thing I can't have.

Distractions can only do so much for so long. The evenings and nights are long and lonely.

Look to the moon.
My life ended with my soul mate on January 22nd 2018. Can't imagine any future
 ellie68
Posted by

Hi

You are not alone, i am lost as well, do not know who am i was always me and him, we had  53 years together, i do not know what life is on my own, but we can get threw this it will take time and we have to get threw each day and for me that is a bonus. I tell him every night when i go to bed i got threw another day.

I have cancer also and he was here right by my side every step of the way, he was diagnosed four days before i finished treatment, that is hard i am not curable, so i have got to try and be strong he would want that for me.

I am not lonely but alone, the house is so quiet he was my clown every day he made me laugh, i so miss that.

You will find the strength to go forward how ever long it may take. I never ever thought of the person left behind, i will now as i can fill for them, everything  at the time is on the patient and so it should be, but afterwards the person left behind is suffering more than anyone could imagine unless they have been there .

 hope you can take tiny steps one day at a time, you are not alone, i understand and many others here.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Geoff999
Posted by

Dear Wanting2know 

It hurts doesn't it? Yet there's no such thing as a stupid post my friend. Any stupidity normally comes from people not on our site but neighbours and friends who havnt a clue how to communicate to us. And it's  good to get angry. Because there are no medals for the composed and rational. Have a damn good cry when the grief attack comes because shortly afterwards there's a spiritual calm that defies explanation. 

Love and Light 

Geoff

At the end of all our journeying will be to find ourselves back where we started knowing the place for the first time. TS ELIOT.

Wanting2know
Posted by

And what a lovely moon it was last night and what a beautiful start to the day it was this morning...... 


but it just distracts from the reality doesn’t it? 
life will never be the same again, I will never be the same again. 
you will never be the same again. I’m doing my best and am keeping busy, distracted  but just hate this

Wanting2know
Posted by

I just had to arrrrgh to someone, thank you.

i wish you all peace of mind, we kind of have no choice but to find our way through this Di we? 
goodnight think of the good memories and how lucky we were to have our wonderful soul mates. Hopefully we’ll meet up again some day, 

take care

Wanting2know
Posted by

Thank you wild cat and Geoff

Wanting2know
Posted by

Stay strong Ellie -  small steps for sure even though they’re not in the direction we want to walk?

ah well, I now know that’s life isn’t it - I am so glad we had each other for 46.5 years but the hole left is unfillable 

Goodnight I wish you well Ellie, thanks 

winmick
Posted by

Hi Wanting2know, none of your posts are strange . What’s strange is that we are left lonely not alone but lonely. I had 43 years as we , us the two of us , now it’s me , I and me alone. I also tell my wife every night what went on during the day , and light a candle by her photo every night. This life we have been thrown into is shit. But we have to live it until we meet our soulmates again , which I strongly believe we will . Hope you all have a good a day as you can. 

Mike 

Love you always Winnie xx
Newb
Posted by

I watched a video on YouTube last night it was a medium talking and she said to the man she was doing the reading for tomorrow is not just another day it's a day closer to your loved one how true 

Ian
MelanieL
Posted by

Hi Wanting2know,

There is no such thing as a stupid post. Your post expressed how you feel at the moment and that is very important and it is precious that you wanted to share it with us.

All of us here including myself can understand how you feel because we all feel the same thing to varying degrees.

Of course you want him back. He was your whole life and without him you feel that you are forced to live a new life, forced to get used to a new "normal" which is what you don't want to do because you want your life with him back.

Keep posting here. It will hopefully help you to talk to people who are going through a very similar thing. And mind yourself now: keep eating, keep distracted as much as you feel you need to and, over time, you will feel the need to do so less and less and be more and more able to accept the new "normal".

I know it's so hard and painful.

Love, Mel.

I don't like "moving on" because it sounds like leaving our loved one and all that happened behind. But I like "moving forward" because it means that, in spite of my tremendous loss and the pain about that, I move forward in my own life taking Paul with me.