We understand that people with cancer are worried about coronavirus. Here is the latest guidance. We will update it regularly.

Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

A second Christmas without my soul mate

Posted by

Hi all 

As you know I don’t often post these days I don’t know why I think it’s because I concentrate so much on getting past each day that I tend to just get on with it . Well here I am the second Christmas without my darling hubby somehow in some ways this was worse than the first last year was just a blur somehow only loosing Kola in the October 18 this year I was more aware he wasn’t here  but i got on with it for my granddaughter and everything was good till Boxing Day evening went I had a melt down and couldn’t stop crying I was so upset and in some ways cross  with myself that it had happened and didn’t want to ruin my family’s Christmas little did I know we all felt the same and one by one we all broke down it’s still so hard most of the time we are ok and get on with daily life and don’t hurt as much then right out of the blue wham it hits you again oh well that’s the nature of grief I suppose well here’s to a new year I’ve promised myself to really look after myself this year for myself and for my darling as he would be so cross if he thought I wasn’t caring about myself so onwards and upwards thought I would catch you all up on a year and a bit later and let you know whatever you feel whenever you feel it’s ok it’s the new normal 

lots of love Pam xxxx 

Live one day at a time and have fun just a laugh together goes a long way 

Posted by

Just seen your post Pam like you this is my second  Christmas alone l still think about him all the time & did not know what loneliness was until now.

I know like you he would want me to pull myself together & get on with life especial as he fought so hard to stay with us 

.Still tomorrow  is another day love to you all

D x

Posted by

I have only just seen your post as well Pam, as I don,t come on her as much as when I was looking after my wife Adele in her final months.   

I totally agree , this second Christmas and New year were the worst, I think I was still in Shock last year, since Adele left me in November it was just a blur, this year I had time to sit and think, so spent it all alone , no Christmas spirit at all. Lol I was asleep  at 10 pm on New Year’s Eve.

but time moves on and so should we, if we can.  Good luck, too you this coming year.


Dead meat
Posted by

These family times are the worst, you end up seeing the advertisers vision of a lovely Christmas when you just don't feel that way.

This was my first Christmas totally along, my mother died suddenly in November so there was just me and her cat and a turkey. It was very solitary and I did spend a lot more time worrying about it before hand. And yes its difficult if you don't feel the spirit when everybody else is happy but I've been there for a while now my husband died nearly nine years ago. I won't say that I'm reduced to tears any more I just try and focus on the times we were happy together and next year I probably won't do Christmas, it'll just be a holiday.