Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

New Year

grinsdale
Posted by

I survived Christmas having it only been 3 weeks since my darling husband Micky died.However I feel worse coming up to the New Year I think its because I feel I am leaving Micky behind in another year which probably sounds crazy as I know it is just another day.Wonder if anyone else has felt like that?

Laura x  

Ruby Diamond
Posted by

Oh Laura is is such early days for you, and having to endure Christmas so soon. You must have really found it hard. 

I feel exactly how you have described it. My husband passed away on 31 March 2018 and today is the last time I can think he died last year!!! Tomorrow it will be 2 years ago. To me it's absolutely terrifying leaving them behind.

I silently worry I can't hear his voice or remember his mannerisms, but I can. I look at our 2 sons and there is my husband. 

Will you have company tonight? Take care of yourself, remember your Micky he will be watching over you.

  • Ruby diamond x
grinsdale
Posted by

Thanks Ruby Diamond I understand where you are coming from too,its so hard.I am staying in on my own tonight with our two lovely retrievers,I have had offers to go to friends and family but would rather just stay at home as not good company at the moment.I wish you a peaceful New Year,take care x

Ruby Diamond
Posted by

Thank you, and to you.

I'm glad you have the company of your 2 dogs, what a comfort they are. We got a rescue Siberian Husky in May and she is an absolute delight. Someone to love and a reason to keep going.

X

  • Ruby diamond x
jojowest
Posted by

Hi Laura I know exactly how you feel about leaving them behind . It's as though we are closing a great big door on them & our life with them. We must try not to feel like that as they will always & forever be with us in our hearts & memories  they will be with us as the clock strikes midnight they will never leave us . Be strong he will be with you.

I am not staying up until midnight going to bed . 

Take care x

Wildcat
Posted by

Hello Ruby.

Like you this is the last time I can say my husband died last year which is hard to believe. 

Not having children there is no-one to remind me of him. I don't remember what he sounds like.

At New Year two years ago we didn't stay up as we usually did as he was very tired  and I remember saying 'never mind there'll be plenty other times'. How those words haunt me.

I'm alone again tonight and tomorrow just like Christmas.

Look to the moon.
My life ended with my soul mate on January 22nd 2018. Can't imagine any future
Tuppence99
Posted by

Hello Laura, I'm glad to hear you survived xmas, I did too but it wasn't quite the same without my Norm. Like you I'm feeling worse as the new year looms and also feel like I'm leaving him behind. Not only is it a new year but a new decade too. I keep remembering last new year which as usual we spent with the same friends, raising a glass at midnight, wishing everyone a healthy and prosperous 2019. We had no idea we would be saying goodbye to Norman so soon. I'm spending this evening with the same friends who have been very supportive since Norman died. I can't say I'm going to be good company though.

Hope your dog's bring you comfort tonight and going forward into 2020. Remember to be kind to yourself, but I know that's easier said than done.

Sending a big hug

Sue

grinsdale
Posted by

Yes they are definitely keeping me going they are so intune with our feelings too,they cuddle up to me all the time.x

grinsdale
Posted by

Thanks yes Micky my husband will always be with me,its just these first times for everything are so hard to deal with.I am not staying up either.I wish you well.x

grinsdale
Posted by

Thanks Sue best wishes & hugs to you too x

occupation2heal
Posted by

I’m staying with my mother who is also on her own, my dad having died 14 years ago. We have three dogs for company - one each, and we are looking after my brothers dog as he and his family are in Australia for Christmas and NY. Not sure if I will stay up. The significance of the new year and new decade is making me feel very odd. One minute optimistic, the next teary and sad, then detached and distant. I think about my life with Mike and it’s like looking down the wrong end of a telescope- everything seems small and far away. Think I will consume some whiskey, maybe have a bath, a diazepam and an early night. Hugs to all of you. Imagine if we could all just get together and support each other in the flesh. Digital media will gave to do. You are all lifesavers when I’m feeling rubbish xx 

Alison 
Trying to be like the tree that bends with the wind and rain and thus weathers the storm
Lavender1969
Posted by

Hi Alison, 

Its good, you are with your mum. 

I agree with you, this online community is a life saving group. 

I am on my own. Curled up on the sofa, wrapped up in my husbands favourite cardigan. The TV is on, but not paying attention. Will go to bed early as many of us here.

Last year at this time we did not have the smallest clue, what we were going to face in June this year. Last year at this time everything was absolutely normal. Now I am here without my other half broken, lonely and tierful.

I often think, I wish, this group could meet somewhere. That would be really good.

Love

Andrea xx

  • Andrea xxx
Newb
Posted by

Hi Andrea exactly my words to my wife passed in June also just waiting to go to bed and get it over and done with

Ian
occupation2heal
Posted by

I’m sending you a big virtual hug. Sleep well when you go to bed x 

Alison 
Trying to be like the tree that bends with the wind and rain and thus weathers the storm
grinsdale
Posted by

I am so glad I have joined this group as I know you all have a deep understanding of loss & how it feels so I take comfort from this and I know I am not alone.My friends and family are very kind and supportive but they don't truly get how I feel and why should they,it is an unfortunate privilege to walk in our shoes.I agree it would be great to meet up as a group if ever possible.

Take care |& warm hugs to you all.

Laura x