Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

Feeling low

Dutsie
Posted by

I am feeling incredibly low today and did not even get into work.

In most part I have a positive attitude although not immune from the waves of grief.

Without going into too much detail a guy at the pub, a very intoxicated man at the pub, hurled abuse at me and made very vile comments. I stood my ground at the the time, keeping calm and remained polite, considering the circumstances. I was not going fall to his level and let him intimidate me.  I had a lot of support from others so was safe.

This guy would never have spoken to me like that if my husband was around....

No doubt an apology will be forthcoming, I know how this community works. It was out of order. 

It is approaching the one year mark so I am very conscious each day recently, of the "this time last year" at the moment. The timing of the incident has got to me.

Can't stop crying. So angry, so hurt. I need to let it go....there I have said it!!

Hope you guys are having a better day than me.

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Ruby Diamond
Posted by

Dutsie

That sounds awful for you, I'm glad you felt supported but you must have been frightened and are now obviously anxious.

I'm sorry to say my day is only slightly better, I'm in the hospital my husband was diagnosed in. I know every inch of these corridors. My son has broken his leg and was in surgery yesterday. Today is much brighter for him, he has been walking gently with physio.

I'm also having the "last time I was here I was with my husband" thoughts and very much missing him supporting me and our youngest son through this trauma.

Lots of love to you 

  • Ruby diamond x
Dutsie
Posted by

Hi Ruby Diamond,

Yes, I am still not feeling that great but sorry to hear about your day. I wish your son a speedy recovery.

It is strange going back to the same hospital. There was a time I would cry just driving past it.

You come accross as a strong person, and get you on missing the support you would have had otherwise. So take care of yourself too.

Thank you for your message.

With lots of love,

Dutsie x

Newb
Posted by

Hi ruby diamond i know how you feel I have to go to oncologists every 6weeks I'm nearly in tears every time have to walk round till I can pluck up courage to go in as my wife was in the ward there to so hope it gets a little easier for you 

Ian
Ruby Diamond
Posted by

Thank you. 

The reminders of what happened and the loss is more noticeable when we re visit traumatic places. Your 6 weekly visits must really take there toll on you Newb. That must be so hard doing it on your own.

My son had an ok day, physio got him up and walking this morning which he managed. I just feel so exhausted with all the extra worry, and wish Rob was here to share the load.

I know we all wish things were different. 

  • Ruby diamond x
Newb
Posted by

Yes it must be very hard with everything that is going on hope you have a good night's sleep a new day tomorrow hopefully a little better for you

Ian