Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

Feeling so alone and lost

Val66
Posted by

Morning all ,Haven’t posted for a while thought I would was coping ok,but these last few weeks have been horrible,Having problems with the new neighbour next door and it’s stressing me out terrible,My husband Alan would have been able to deal with something like this but I’m just getting stressed out about it. I just feel so lost and alone don’t know what I am doing,trying to put a brave face on for the family but on my own I am falling apart,I miss Alan so much.Sorry for waffling on as I know everyone is struggling,I know I could do with some counselling but if I phone all I will do is cry,I can barely see now for the tears.luv to everyone who is struggling.x

Val47
likido
Posted by

Problems with neighbours is bad at the best of times, but at this time in your life you don’t need the additional stress.  Don’t worry about crying on the phone,I am sure they are used to it.  Go for some counselling if you can.  What stress is your neighbour causing, maybe we can offer some advice on how to deal with it.  You are not alone, we are all here, listening and will help if and as much as we can.  Love Dolly xx

Val66
Posted by

Thank you for your kind words Dolly,I am going to make a phone call and get some counselling because I know I need some support.The problem with the new neighbour is quite hard to explain,we share a path to get access to our back garden the problem is our front and side garden is all fenced and all set out with a drive,hers is all open and so she wants the housing association to stop me using the shared access path and to turn my side garden into my path,then her children have the full use of her garden and path,this has all come about because i would not keep my gate tied up to stop her children going on the road via my drive.And we have a new estate manager who says he is going to do what she wants because as we have a fence up we have forfeited access to the shared path,Sorry this seems so long and don’t know if i have explained it right,I have got my local councillor helping me.once again thank you for your reply as I can understand you will be trying to carry on.Luv Val.xx

Val47
likido
Posted by

Oh dear,sounds quite complicated.  I can understand why she would not want her children to be able to get access through your gate to the road.  Can you not lock that In some way.  I have my side gate locked at all times except when someone needs access to the back garden for security and also because I sometimes have my daughters dogs and would not want them to gain access to the road. Rather than forfeit the shared path, why not try to come to some sort of compromise whereby her children cannot get through your gate to the road. Apart from your local councillor, have you thought of talking to citizens advice bureau.  Hope it resolves itself. Love Dolly xx

Wife0f26years
Posted by

Hi I'm glad you're getting some support disputes  can be difficult. C.A.B are  good  too. I think theses things are 10 times worse when you are grieving quite a few things completely set me off when they weren't going well. If it's difficult see if someone would mediate then you could step back a little. Wish you well x

Val66
Posted by

Morning Dolly,yes got some advice from cab,the problem with locking the side gate is I have very bad arthritis in my hands and Alan put the metal gate on to make it easy for me,the last gate was a wooden one with a bolt.but even tho she is saying her children are not safe she still lets them out while she is inside,just hoping the councillor can help,she has said it’s down to the parent to keep her children safe and it should not involve me as she took the house knowing there was no where for her children to play.,but she does have a back garden which is safe.just hope we can get it resolved we have a meeting next week.just completely stressing me out.thank you for your advice.luv Val x

Val47
Val66
Posted by

Hi,never been in a situation like this before so completely unsure what to do.Even going out of the house into the garden I feel so uncomfortable now,I just want to try and carry on as I’ve always done,always been a very private person ,thank you for your reply.x

Val47