Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

just lost my husband and best friend

Posted by

My husband passed away on Wednesday we were at the hospice and suddenly he went down hill

after a number of days he died.the way he died upset me and my family it not how I expected it to 

Be.he has been fighting cancer for 3 years we have been so wrapped up in this that you almost forget

That what the end is

I don't know what I am going to do without him everyone says he still with me but how's does that help

He can't give me a cuddle.

I don't know what  I am going to do

Posted by
Hello, sorry to read about the loss of your husband. I know it sounds wrong, but welcome to this group, as we say no one wants to be a member. But it is an incredible source of support and understanding. I totally understand your last sentence, it is four months for me and there are days when I feel like that and other days when I feel a little more positive and can see some future. And sometimes both several times in one day. And there are lovely people on here who are further down the road tell us it does get better, I just try and hang on to that and the more positive days. . . . We all know the "everyone says" people, they talk complete nonsense and haven't got a clue, I am sure sometimes they are well meaning other times they are just too stupid for words. Am going to try and sleep now, after months of sleeping badly had a week where I slept well now back to not sleeping. Sending you hugs, Clare x
Posted by

hello, I am so sorry for your loss. Like Clare I am struggling to sleep this week but at least it means we are here to offer you our support. In many ways your husband will always still be with you but never again in the way which we would all like and that is a very hsrd realisation.

You will be very traumatised at the moment so try to take great csre of yourself. Get as much help as you can from friends and family and I hope that by posting on here and readjng lthers posts you will be able to draw some comfort.

Try to sleep. What is your name? Most of us use our own name, a couple have pseudonyms but it is nice to be able to address you as someone.

Tske care and a MacHug, not as good as a real cuddle but it's the best we can do.


Posted by
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. There seem to have been a fair few broken hearted people that have joined our group this month. I do hope you get some comfort from this site. At least we are all completely aware of how you are feeling. It is so very hard. I don't know how to give you comfort except to say we are here for you. It is six months this weekend since my husband died. We were soul mates and as yet I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel but in a strange way it helps to know that others know exactly how I'm feeling . Take care of yourself. Try and surround yourself with understanding family or friends. Huge hugs, Heather
Posted by

Hello my name is Elizabeth. I am so sorry you have lost your husband. You will be feeling a lost soul and very fragile. A very difficult time. By coming on here you will get all the support and kindness possible by others . I don't post on here very often but read the posts and find great comfort and know that people actually understand our loss. My husband died 13 weeks ago this Saturday morning. You take care hour by hour day by day. Sending you a huge hug.  x x x 

Posted by
Hello. I am so sorry that you have joined us here. You will be in shock at the moment but try to take tiny steps. I hope that you have some caring people around you - I certainly couldn't have got through without my family and some very good friends. Your husband will always be with you. At first, I had a problem looking at couples, especially elderly couples, who had achieved something we never would. But I began to think of the 38 years (32 married) that we had together and how very happy we were until Leukaemia reared its very ugly head and forced an impenetrable wedge between us. Although it is very painful, the very many happy memories I have do give me solace- it's all I have. I also think to myself that my two wonderful daughters are each half of Paul and two halves make a whole- he is still here in them. Next week it will be six months since our loss. Although I know what I've done during that time I can't believe I've got to this point and unfortunately I feel his loss even more. I think reality is really setting in. If you can, see a counsellor. It certainly helped me.
I give up
Posted by

Hello.  I'm Sue and I only joined this site a couple of days ago. I lost my wonderful husband two weeks ago. We'd been married for 41 years and like you, he was my best friend and soulmate. 

These early days are so raw and painful, but the one thing I've discovered is that on this site everyone really does know what you are going through and how you are feeling and you can feel free to rant and rave, shout, or just cry your heart out, and no-one will judge you, no-one will say "Buck up, you need to get on with life"  The support on here is truly amazing and its given me a lot of comfort even in these early days when I feel that I cant go on without him, that my life is over.

There are some on here that are further down the line than we are, and they help a great deal by telling us that there IS a future.....albeit a different one because we no longer have our loved one's in it, but a future nonetheless. And as our wise Alan would say..."you carry your loved one in your heart"

I really hope you will find some comfort on here, the people are wonderful and everyone will give you the support and courage to face the road ahead.

Take care of yourself.

Big hugs.

Sue. xx

Posted by
Really sorry to hear that you have lost your soul mate but this truly is a good place for help. Itsi such early days for you and just take baby steps minute by minute then hour by hour. As you say we are all at different stages along this rocky road. Things do change and are different but as quote Alan " you carry them in your heart". I know that's not the same as having them here to see hear,feel,touch and cuddle. I said exactly the same a while ago but give yourself time to grieve. Keep reading on here, we MacWarriorrs are wise friends. I send you the strength to cope with today. Remember small steps and be kind to yourself. Sally x
Posted by

Hi hacolston I am so sorry to hear your husband passed away my husband died 3 and half weeks ago he started feeling unwell in one way or another over the coming months was admitted to hospital with breathing difficulties ect on sunday 21 june a chest doctor came and seen my husband on the Wednesday and said you do realise you have cancer don't you which we said no because doctors were avoiding answering us and he died on the sunday 28th June so my husband deteriated so quickly and I never imagined he was going to die so soon I kept telling him we are going to fight this but his time ran out......   I still feel lost like im in a bubble everyone is getting on with their lives and im stuck I feel exactly like you I don't know how im going to go on without him, when you meet such an amazing man and have them in your life for so long you don't expect that one day they are not going to be there, You forget how your life was without them before you got together life will never be the same again but ive been told you find a new type of normal the emptiness will never go you just learn to carry it around with you but I believe that one day I will be reunited with my husband, I am sending you a big hug (('')) keep strong hun we all understand what you are going through and we are feeling the loneliness you feel take care xx



Posted by

Thank you for your kind words I just visited my husband at the chapel the reason I did this was to make sure they carried out my wishes and that he was at peace .before the sister and my brother in law have not stopped helping me I could not have sorted done this without them 

Still got to wait another ,2 weeks for the funeral

Thank you for the support 

Helen x

I give up
Posted by

Hello Helen.  So glad that you visited your husband at the chapel of rest. I hope it brought you some sort of comfort to see him and to know he's finally at peace.  I saw my Brian twice at the chapel of rest and I have to admit I felt grateful that he was no longer struggling with the awful bi-pap mask that he had, and he looked so peaceful.

You have got a while to wait for his funeral haven't you?  We waited 10 days for Brians and that felt a long time, but I glad we did because it gave us enough time to make sure that everything was done correctly and that we could give him the send off he deserved. Because he was ex RAF we even managed to have a lone bugler playing the last post.

I hope your family and friends continue to be a great help and support to you, its times like this that we really need them. And of course, it goes without saying saying that you will get loads of support and wise words on this site....its a godsend.

Big hug for you.

Sue. x