Bereaved spouses and partners

A place for widows and widowers to share their feelings and support one another.

My husband passed away last evening

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My wonderful husband passed away. last night  He was only diagnosed on 2oth May 12.  I feel empty.  I dont know how to deal with this

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I am so sorry that you find yourself here like this.  I don't know how to deal with my grief either but be sure that I'm thinking of you and sending you love and support.  There are others on this site who are able to offer words of comfort but they'll all agree that you are sadly in for a long haul and all I can say is that this is a good place to come for help or to sound off when you find that's all you can do.

Take care of yourself at this time,


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Bless you Cheryl... you are in shock... is anyone with you, a friend or relative to help. You really need someone around at the moment.. But talk to us on here of course. we will always listen anytime at all.

Have you seen your doctor, you really need to if not as he/she will help you as well... and if alone please tell them as someone should be with you.

At the moment all you can do is try to look after yourself... try to eat and try to sleep regularly, it is difficult, but you must try

My sincere condolences Cheryl... stay on and talk if you need to. and please tell us if you are alone.

A virtual hug... Alan.

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Hi Cheryl, I am so sad to hear about your loss... thinking of you and wishing you didn't have to go through this.

Am fairly new here myself (my other half died in May) but I've already been helped by some lovely, kind and thoughtful people here. For a club that nobody wants to join, it's very friendly and supportive.

Maybe a good place to start is to talk here when you need to - if it helps talking about your husband then go for it. So say what you think, get angry, get upset and know there's very likely to be someone who will listen and understand. And don't try and do too much too quickly - there's lots for you to get your head around and I'm finding that it all takes time.

Am sure you'll get more informed replies than mine, but just wanted to say hello and send you an online hug.

Kez x

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My sympathy goes out to you Cheryl , I lost my better half 3. Weeks ago and the people on here are absolutely brilliant. I was the type just to read stuff and take comfort but found by sharing my grief with these lovely people has been a positive step in the right direction, I'm still very raw myself however, do chat about your loss as it is a comfort to know that others have been through the same and have very wise words of wisdom. My heartfelt condolences Paul. X
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Oh Cheryl honey.

So sorry for your lose and that you find your self on this site that no one wants to be on.

I hope someone is with you and you have support. It has been 13 months tomorrow since I lost my precious man, This site is a big help and wonderful people on here.

Take each day has it comes, do what you feel you are upto which is probably not much. Keep posting as much as you feel you can, someone will be around to keep you company.

Big hugs and much love to you. xx

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Oh Cheryll, I am so sorry; you must be in terrible shock with such a short time between diagnosis and the end. Just think one hour, or one day ahead at the moment.... you will have so much to organise and do that you will find the days pass ..... remember to eat and to rest. Grief is exhausting, so be prepared for that. All the people who have read you entry will think thinking of you and wishing you strength. ... xxx Penelope xxx
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Cheryl I,'m so sorry that you find yourself here but you will find friends who understand. Sally x
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I am so sorry to read that your husband has just passed away, you will be in shock and I hope you have someone with you who can give you comfort.

You will find people on this site who have been through the same thing, we have all lost a loved one and trying to cope. My husband died 9 weeks ago, he only lasted 11 months after being admitted to hospital by emergency with bowel cancer.

It is a difficult journey, please use this site and talk to us. There always seems to be someone around who will answer your questions or offer comforting words.


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Hi, I am so sorry for your loss and sadly know how you feel. And whilst none of us wish we were here for the reason we are, this is a great bunch of people and over the 3 months since Pete died I I have found reading the postings amongst the group has helped. It is early stages and your emotions will be raw, but we are here when you want us. Take care of yourself at this time and do what's best for you. It is all to easy to fall into the trap of "I need to do this or arrange that because that is what is expected of me". Doing what is best for you is not selfish or hard but it is a way to deal and cope. Thinking of you, X Jo
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Hi Cheryll,

I am so sorry for your terrible loss. This community will help you through even though you will do a lot of hard work yourself. But the support here is tremendous and I know I am still sane because of the wonderful people here willing to share their feelings. Live minute by minute for now; try to have supportive people around or near by and always ask for help. I for one, don't find asking for help easy, but now that life has changed so irrevocably, I have started to change too. You will find a way to deal with this and this community will help you do that.


Always here for you. Take care and hugs.

Tim E
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So sorry you are here and I cannot add much to what the others have said. Laing had NSCLC with spread to liver nodes and eventually to his bones. He died nearly 6 months ago and you may have seen I am feeling strong enough not to contribute or need the forum like I used to.

No matter how bad you feel now, be assured you will adapt, you will find you can do things by yourself and you are mentally tougher than you realise. I admit I have come through it all pretty fast, but Laing believed I would manage without him. Take your time and look after yourself. Number One is you and adapting from being the carer and partner to being on your own is traumatic, but look back to the diagnosis. You adapted quickly back then, it is amazing how quickly we do adapt to the situation. This is a different kettle of fish, but you have your life experiences to call upon. They may not replicate this situation, but there are always some similarities in general terms.

As for your name, sunflower, that is beautiful. Laing and I planted some when we started properly putting our garden together. We planted the seeds in the traditional manner, one for the birds, one to die and one to grow. We managed better than that law of averages.

The boys and girls here are a pretty good bunch. Use them. We have all used each other and it is both surprising and reassuring how well we have moved on in our ways and at our own speeds.

Virtual hugs are always available on request, and can ever be found lurking in the posts. Take every one that's offered, and save them up for when you need them if you don't use them immediately. There is no expiry date on them.

So here is an introductory two for one offer for you. Let me know when you need some more, as I probably will extend the offer.