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Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

I lost my daughter 18 weeks ago to cervical cancer,

Crix
Posted by

Hello everyone, I'm in a real bad place since losing my precious daughter 18 weeks ago,I just dont want to go l  on iiving,I have metastasis breast cancer,and was taking hormone tablets to control it,but I stopped taking them 4 weeks a go, I told my partner,and hes not happy and says it's because I dont love him  but I do,and my other children and grandchildren, people say I got to Carry on for them,but its' the most  painful thing to lose a child.,just dont know what to do.

Kelly Sparkles
Posted by

Hi Crix, 

I'm afraid I can't empathise with losing a child as I lost my Mum but I do empathise with the feeling of loss (especially losing someone to cancer). 

I am also so sorry to hear about your own health. 

My advice would be to seek some counselling for your loss before you make any big decisions about your own medication etc. This is a very stressful/ heartbreaking/ surreal/ awful time for you and your family. I know my doctor said to me that to access bereavement counselling via the NHS you have to wait around 6 months and I believe this is to allow your mind time to process what has happened. 

I have been receieving support from the local hospice so yours may be able to help you too? 

There are also lots of online support networks where you can connect with people that have also lost children. 

Sorry I can't be of more help... I just saw your message so far unanswered so thought I would connect. 

x

Tracy81
Posted by

So sorry for your loss. I have recently been diagnosed with cervical cancer too. I’ve not lost a child but my friend who also found out she had cervical cancer two month after loosing her daughter a few years back found it really difficult. I can only empathise as I’ve not lost a child but I’ve seen the impact this does have on many of my freinds who have lost children and the harsh reality for them is it does not get easier you just learn to cope and deal with it the best you can.  my friend really struggled with treatment due to the affects of treatments but also the grief and I’m sure at times wanted to throw the towel in !!  but she carried on for the  sake of her children and grandchildren. I would suggest speaking with your gp and get some support put in place for yourself and your family so they can understand the emotional rollercoaster your faced with at this time. Hope all goes well and you get the support you need at this difficult time x 

Tracy 81
Crix
Posted by

Hi Kelly,

Thank you for replying to my post,sorry to hear you lost your mum,i have been thinking about getting help,but i really cant see how that can help me,as its not going to change the fact my daughter is not here anymore.they say  the worst thing is to lose a child and it is,i lost my parents,and that was bad,but this is 100 times worse,i dont want to live like this for to long, as its unbearable xx

                                                                                     

Crix
Posted by

Hi Tracy81 

Thank you for your post and the advice you gave me,im so sorry you have been diagnosed with cervical cancer,but hope you get through it ok.,i have thought about getting help,but have decided against it,as i know it wont change things and i just cant cope with this unbearable  pain for to long, xx

Kelly Sparkles
Posted by

Hi Crix,

I really would love to offer you the best advice but just can't find the words as it is a very different situation to mine. I know my Mum would feel the same had anything of happened to us before her. 

I think the best thing would be to give yourself some time. Maybe phone the MacMillan helpline to talk to someone who has more experience. I can completely understand why you feel there is no point but it might not hurt to just talk to someone. Reaching out in this group was a great step. 

Kelly 

Tracy81
Posted by

Thank you for the reply. It’s not for me to say what you should do you are entitled to do as you wish. Maybe speaking to someone who understands what you are going through better may help and maybe once Your mind is clearer you can make the right decision for you. I really wish you well and sending lots of love and healing prayers your way at this terrible time x 

Tracy 81