Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Coping

Step18
Posted by

Hi jw how people cope over Xmas my mum passed away last year on the 10th December and x mass was a blur I’m trying my best to go fored in life my mum was my best mate and my. Mum just finding it hard atm :( to enjoy x mass

Hope_29
Posted by

Bless you. Don’t put any pressure on yourself re Christmas, you just have to go with the feelings, however overwhelming they may or may not be. Your Mum would want you to be happy but take your time getting to that point and talk (to us, family and or friends). It’s really important not to hold feelings in or keep them to yourself. Talking about the loss of a love one is so important and people do care despite how it seems the world continues as normal for other people. Find someone you can confide in and I promise it will help. You can do this x

Step18
Posted by

thanks

Step18
Posted by

Was going to ask how you cope I talk to a lot of people and it hard with my dad (think it a dad thing and some friends don’t under stand and I so under stand life go one and mum would wanna me to enjoy it mum loved Xmas so much but I can’t really enjoy it fill like ill up set my dad if I stared to to put decs up and don’t wanna up set him and dn how I can have that chat with him :( he in his own bubble 

Hope_29
Posted by

My Mum died 5 years ago so tbh I mostly come on to try to comfort other people, but I will always remember the crushing loneliness of grief and feeling like it was this unending stormy ocean. Cheesy analogy, but true and the world made no sense without her. I sympathise with your pain, just try not to feel that you have to act a certain way. Go with your feelings. I think males are often scared to start conversations about feelings for fear of ‘rocking the boat’, but I bet it would help your Dad if you tried. He may or may not say much, but even a hug or telling him you are here for him will bond you together. I was a Mummy’s girl for years and I will always love her with everything I have, but one of the unexpected ‘nice parts’  of grief is how close I am to my Dad now. It’ll take time to begin to feel like things can be ok again but they will. Try to just ride out the bad days/times as best you can x