Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

It really does now feel like the end.

hopeisallaround
Posted by

Hi everyone. 

Sorry to be a pain, i think I just need to write down my feelings after hearing some news today. I got told that my Grandma's house is now up for sale, this has hit me like a tonne of bricks. 

I know that this was due to happen eventually, however I feel like i'm not ready to say goodbye just yet, it feels like its the last piece of my Grandma left, and full of so many happy memories, my dads childhood home, the place where he introduced my mum to my Grandma, where I took my first steps, where i used to sit cross legged on the floor of her living room, the living room whereby I used to eat my "Makeshift" teas she used to make, Chicken Burgers and smiley faces and beans was always my favourite, so much so that I recently tried to re create it, however it didn't taste the same, I guess it wouldn't, it didn't have my Grandma's magic touch. I'm going to miss talking with her for hours putting the world to rights. 

I guess i am being silly and it has to be sold, and another family will be having memories in there, as happy as the ones we had I hope. 

It's just really hard, deep down i probably am being silly and maybe a bit selfish, that i need to move on, and i can't. 

I thought i was doing so well, I guess not. 

Thank you for taking the time to read. 

Hope <3

Live Every Moment
Laugh Everyday
Love Beyond Words.
Gemmary
Posted by

I hope you don't beat yourself up over this, you are entitled to be upset. Perhaps take photos of all the rooms etc? Then remember all the good times, and hopefully you will think of another location where your grandma will be found?

((Hugs))

hopeisallaround
Posted by

Thank you for your reply Gemmary, I think  I just feel at an all time low, at the minute, and I don't want to keep relying on my anti-depressants to help me, I'd rather do it on my own, but I think I just wanted a little bit more time to adjust. 

I was reading through my Grandmas journals that she wrote recently and a passage in there really got to me, I don't remember doing this, but she must have said something to me which I didn't like and I just walked off, and she's put that in her diary, and said the week after she still hadn't heard from me, I'm now thinking why did i do that why couldn't i just have left it and not gone off in a strop and said ok sorry Grandma I appreciate that, and understand. But i suppose there's nothing i can do about it now. 

Sorry I'm sure I will learn to live with things going forward from now soon. 

Hope x

Live Every Moment
Laugh Everyday
Love Beyond Words.