Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Somebody to talk to - fairly recent loss of nana

KForest
Posted by

Hi everyone, just reaching out as I've been struggling quite a lot recently with feelings like anxiety, hopelessness and dread. My nana passed late July this year from ovarian, only now have I realised that's nearly 4 months ago, it feels like 2 weeks. I've lost people and animals before but nothing quite like this, I was very close to my nana and she was always a comfort to me. I had the usual bereavement response I think, the numbness and distress, I've never felt angry as she had a fantastic life and I do believe in it's circle, and I don't think she was taken too soon, which I think is the real tragedy, death is what you trade for life, but I really do believe a young death is a cruelty. Sorry I know I'm rambling. Anyway, what I've been struggling the most with is anxiety. Her death has reminded me of what little control we have over the things that make us happy in our life - the people, our work etc. and since losing her I've become constantly paranoid and anxious that I'm going to lose something big again, like my partner in a tragic accident or my job. I've always had that tendency but it's definitely worse now and it's starting to churn me up a bit. My aim from this post is mainly for an ear to listen to me, but also to see if there are any face to face counselling services I can access? I need to avoid it going on my medical record because of my job unfortunately, otherwise I would just go to my GP.

latchbrook
Posted by

Hi and welcome to the online community

I'm sorry to hear that your nana passed away earlier this year and that you're currently struggling to deal with this.

I noticed that you said that "I need to avoid it going on my medical record because of my job unfortunately, otherwise I would just go to my GP" so thought you might be interested in this reply from one of Macmillan's work advisors to someone who was also worried about the same thing.

You could also ask about bereavement support by clicking on the link I've created and Wendy, a bereavement support practitioner, will aim to respond to you within 2 working days.

Sending a supportive ((hug))

 "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

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hopeisallaround
Posted by

Hi KForest 

First of all, i'm so so sorry for your loss, i know that many people have probably said that to you, and it doesn't make it easier does it. 

I too lost my wonderful Grandma in July this year, and was there when she gained her angels wings, from Pancreatic Cancer. I completely get you when you say it only feels like 2 minutes ago, they say time heals, but I think we just go into a sense of new normal whatever that maybe. 

You say that you can't go to your GP regarding how your feeling, due to your job, however I may be wrong but under the new GDPA they arn't allowed to access these records without your consent. 

I'm always here to listen if you would like. 

Sending big hugs 

Hope x x

Live Every Moment
Laugh Everyday
Love Beyond Words.
KForest
Posted by

Thank you to the both of you (()) I appreciate your help, I am feeling good today, I was very much having a bad moment when I posted this. Thank you xxx

hopeisallaround
Posted by

Hi KForest, 

Glad to hear that your feeling better today, don't be hard on yourself and take time for you. 

Always here to listen. 

Live Every Moment
Laugh Everyday
Love Beyond Words.