Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Angry with my friends family

Deli21
Posted by
  • Hi Everyone I recently lost one of my best friends to Cancer I really am not coping well at all My GP told me to join this group to see if it helps to talk The problem is the friend I spoke to about everything in life was Liz and now she is no longer here to help and advise me I am very angry with Cancer stealing her life but I am more angry with her so called family I’m not sure if this is the right place for me to talk to people but I really hope it is cos I need to talk Thank you for reading my post 
buttercup01
Posted by

Hi Deli21, n welcome to the community, tho I'm sure it's the last place u want to be.

You can talk on here n if you want to just rant/ vent/ let off steam there's "The Room" too, which u can join Iike any of the other groups.

Should u want to actually talk, rather than type, u might want to ring the helpline on 0808 808 0000. It's open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week.

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
GBear
Posted by

Obsoletely the right place ,

I am sorry for your lose of your friend and I send my condolences. I lost a very good friend to cancer last year and although I was already a member of the community here I first joined as a cancer patient. I see both sides of view with cancer my thoughts when I was diagnosed but also finding out a week later my friend was terminal and for a short time we hoped the doctors were wrong and he would get better but I admit it really hurt me his lose he was like a big brother to me and others and helped so many out. I miss him very much still and I have times I struggle to deal with my lose, but the one thing I found was how everyone here has been fantastic dealing with their own grief but they just get it. I don't think people truly can understand unless they have gone though it. The online community is a place we can come too and just talk, or listen. Some like to just say how they feel and others just like reading the posts and gain comfort from that. Of course people are online different times of the day so there is always the possibility that someone is around just there to hold your hand sort of speak and to know we care. 

I found I have a fair talent for painting and I enjoy it I found it when I started at the local hospice and I don't want to let it go, it gives me comfort and distraction and I find it helps to cope with my wandering mind or my mind that just can't cope so it just switches off. I find I get relaxed doing art and I can talk though some of my fears better when I haven't clammed up. Its one of my coping mechanism. We all have one but sometimes its not so easy to find it. Some find counselling sessions good I had some for a while on a regular basis now she has me helping with the crafts at my support group. The most important thing is just to talk. But never feel pressured your mind will tell you when your ready,I found I have trouble sleeping my mind just a buzz of confusion etc or as my conseller said when you have had a trauma your mind has a box which keeps filling but you keep the lid firmly shut that's OK for a while but when your box is full of frogs they will constantly hop around and want to escape, when you open up your thoughts (frogs) then the mind us less cluttered and you have a restful sleep. Well it sometimes works!

Just wanted to reach out and give a virtual hand to hold and a gentle hug and just to say I understand and so will many others.

  GBear Xxxx 

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