Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Hope my Grandma is proud

hopeisallaround
Posted by

It's been 3 months nearly since my Grandma gained her angel wings and was reunited with my Grandad. I can't believe it's been this long without her. 

People tell me it will continue to get easier, however I found myself crying in the loo's the other day, not able to stop, I've been having a hard time recently, with my job, my life and my depression and anxiety, I even nearly went to reach for the phone to call her, and then realised she's no longer here, well in person anyway, so I ended up just saying what I wanted to say to her in my mind, hoping that she could hear me. 

I really miss her advice, her telling me that i've put on weight, at the time it really upset me, but now i would give anything for her to say it. 

I remembered the last time she was alert a couple of days before she passed, and as we were leaving she lifted her hand and waved goodbye, that must have taken some strength. Strength that I need so much right now.

Pictures have been taken of her house today, and I just can't quite say goodbye yet to the memories of her in the house. 

Sorry just going through a really tough time at the moment. 

Hope. x

Live Every Moment
Laugh Everyday
Love Beyond Words.
Hope_29
Posted by

I’m sorry about your Grandma. We are lucky if we have a unique strong bond with a Grandma - they make us feel safe, loved, happy and teach us so much. I’m sorry you are feeling such pain at the moment. As you say, I believe your Grandma is proud of you and willing you on in a different way which we can’t comprehend.

It’s so difficult, but please keep talking and living for your Grandma as you know she would want. Keeping talking if you need to; grief is a very individual journey but lots of people care and want to help as best they can. You are not alone despite how it may feel. Crying is healthy as is thinking as if you were speaking to your Grandma. Don’t be scared of these feelings. If you want grief counselling to talk through your feelings some more that may also help. Take one day at a time x 

Bay Arabian
Posted by

I was lucky enough to have a Grandma like you that was my rock in a crazy world. I miss her like crazy too, and have just lost my Dad, her son. I'm like...where's the manual I still had so many questions. 

I was executor of her estate along with Dad, that was horrible wrapping up her possessions that none of the family wanted, but good as gifted to her choice. 

For me and loosing my only grandparent it got a little more emotive before i started to heal. The 1st anniversary without warning I broke down in tears when I answered the phone at work. 

I made a memory box with my Grandma's Passports loving her late  1970's pic and other things, like letters and photos of the house. And now my Dad is going to join, hope they get on!

Oh and I have also put on weight, but let my self off, give your self some slack, your world has just rocked 360 and some! 

Here if you want to chat hopeisallaround

Tamsin1212
Posted by

It’s been almost 3 months for me aswell since I lost my nan. I don’t feel like it’s getting easier at all and I’m still thinking about her every single day. So many things remind me off her like hanging out the washing because she told me off for doing it wrong. I’m struggling because I work in a pub/restaurant and we decided to have my nans wake there and now when I’m working I’m only thinking of my nan and feeling hurt and nearly crying at work. I’m only 16 and this is the first grief I’ve really ever felt and I’m just really really struggling. 

I struggle getting my head around the fact she’s really gone and I’m never gonna speak, see or hear her again and it’s just not making sense in my head that that’s true  it doesn’t make sense she’s not gonna be there on my birthday this month or at Christmas  

Every now and then I read through our old text messages and They just make me so sad but I love reading them, it’s like hearing her speak. I haven’t been to her house since she passed and I feel terrible because my grandad wants me to come round but I just can’t go there and her not be sat in her chair at the dining room table, moaning about football or how messy her sons are. 

I’m Just struggling a lot and I also struggle admitting when I’ve been crying or I’m upset so I’m hoping writing on here will help me a bit 

Tamsin xx