Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

I lost my mum...

Posted by

Hi all,

My mum passed away at the young age of 58 on May 10th this year. She battled T-Cell ALL for 2 years and fought better than anyone could have hoped. I have been coping so well. Yes I have had the odd bad day. I'm certainly not in denial but I am afraid I am coping too well. I have amazing support around me. I am certainly not alone. I do feel alone though as I was an only child to my mum. I have possibly posted in the wrong place and for this I apologise but I just need some advice from people who understand.

:( xxx x  

Posted by

I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum. There is no right way to grieve as it seems to be such an individual ‘journey’, to use a cliché. There is nothing wrong with falling to bits some days or finding you have a good day, it’s all normal. Just try not to put pressure on yourself either way as emotions can be so changeable.

I can only speak for myself, but I spent 3 years wrestling with the pain of my Mum’s death and 5 years on I feel quite different about things. It’s not been a neat process by any means, but the residual emotions are about how much I love her, how proud I am of her (as a person in general, not just as my Mum), and how keen I still am to seek her approval. Your emotions may well change, and in grief we have no choice but to just go with them. You have gone through so much and it will take time to unravel your emotions, and find a way to peace again. I’m glad you have lots of people around you who care, but I understand you hand the unique position of being your Mum’s only child. This forum if a good source of support if you need to chat or perhaps grief counselling may be a possibility in the future if you want to speak to someone impartial in person. We can all relate on here and are here is you need us x

Posted by

I’m sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum 6 months ago and also have felt at times I have coped too well. I miss her everyday but I have continued to live my life. There are times I realise that I’m not as okay as I think because I will say or do things I wouldn’t have before. Friends and family understand. We all have to get through in our own ways. Don’t worry about whether you are coping well or not. Reach out when you need to and know that this is a great place to find support. X