Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Lost my dad yesterday

Angelica3
Posted by

my dad had cancer of his oesophagus and four weeks ago had the Ivor Lewis operation but unfortunately there were complications and the surgeons damaged his trachea, we also found out a week after the operation that he had a leak in the joint in his upper chest. My poor dad had to undergo a further operation where they put stents in and we just prayed this would work. My dad wasn’t allowed to eat or drink from the day of his first operation  on the 23 May until the day he died on the 21 June (all he wanted was a cup and of tea) it was like torture for him watching other patients drinking and he couldn’t. He fought for 4 weeks but ultimately he could no longer fight he was too tired. My dad didn’t want to die he had the operation so he could live but that wasn’t to be. My head is in bits I cannot stop crying and I just don’t know how I will ever get over this.   I watched him suffer and lose so much weight whilst in hospital, he could no longer walk, he also couldn’t talk properly as the surgeons damaged his voice box during the operation.  Devastated!! 

Gembob22
Posted by

I am so so so sorry for your loss. No words can comfort you...I know. Please believe you arent alone in your heartache. Pure devastation I know this. Huge hugs for you. One day at a time is the only way to cope xxx

Angelica3
Posted by

Thank you for your kind words x

Gembob22
Posted by

You arent alone. I'm here if you need someone. I know the pain and loneliness and not wanting to involve other family xx 

LouJ
Posted by

I lost my mum on 31 May this year and so I am a few weeks further down the line to you. The way your feeling is what I could have written for myself, my mum was a huge part of my life. I can’t say it gets a lot better but you do become calmer and personally I found I felt better just for being calmer, crying is so draining! . You are in shock and that’s an awful place to be but day by day is the only way x

daddysgirl1982
Posted by

I am so sorry for your loss hun. I lost my dad after a brave battle with terminal lung cancer in March this year and his funeral was in early April. He was only 63. 

He was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last October and when my mum told me that my nanna had come for my dad (it was how myum told me that my dad had past away as my nanna isy late dad's late mum and she past away a couple of months before my 10th birthday back in 1992) I broke down as I'm a nanna's and daddy's girl, hence my screen name.

I have been on antidepressants on and off for the last 16 years. I was originally put on them for another personal reason, but my doctor increased the dose last October when i found out about my dad's cancer diagnosis as I was really upset. 

Daddy's Girl 1982 
welshfifi88
Posted by

I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad to bowel cancer very suddenly a year ago, also the 21st June (the longest day in more ways than one) In the same way as you I had to watch as the weight dropped off and his dignity was taken from him. I never say that it gets easier with time but I don’t believe that it does, but take things one day at a time, and we learn to cope a little better as each day passes. You’ll be angry he was taken too soon and frustrated that what was supposed to help in fact made things worse - (similar with my dad, once he was opened up to investigate, he deteriorated in a very short space of time) try to take comfort in the fact he is no longer suffering and cherish every memory of your lives together. Sending all the love and a virtual hug x