Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Is this normal?

Laur
Posted by

Haven't been on here for ages as I felt like I was coping pretty well.

I lost my mum on the 26th Feb and after the first month I'd done pretty well at keeping up appearances at work etc and having my emotional moments before or after work but this week has been so hard. 

I just want her back and this week its felt as raw as it did when she left.

Is it normal to feel this way? It's been nearly 4 months and this has just knocked me right back.

Thanks in advance if anyone has any words of advice.

L x

GBear
Posted by

I think the answer is a big yes , its been a lot longer then that when I lost my friend but I still have waves of emotions creeping in at unexpected moments. There is no right or wrong way to grieve some cope very well others can struggle the most important thing is to allow yourself that emotional feeling its not wrong to still be very upset and personally I still feel its very early days for you. 

My friend was diagnosed shortly after I was diagnosed, he was told he had 12 months to live, he had 18. I thought I was well prepared we had done so much planning with him and his wife in ensure that she was left with as little finical burdens as possible, they got lots of support from their church and we all believed yes we are well prepared but honestly I wasn't emotional prepared some how I believed he would be OK until a month before his death, I said to his family nows the time to have a good holiday together, which they did. His wife and him had a week together after the family holiday by the lakes. When he died I was full of anger, denial and I couldn't understand why I knew how long he had I had time to prepare.

But our emotions can do something very different. I think at first you have so much arrangements to make and keeping busy that you don't give yourself time for you. Its important to look after you and it doesn't matter how long it takes as everyone is different, everyone is allowed to have a bad day when they are full of grief, it takes time for everything to sink in and as a few in the group have said dingles, armbands and floats available to cope with the waves. There is so many things that trigger a memory or grief but everyone here understands your not alone in this. Its OK when your ready to ask for help and understanding. You have done the hardest part you have excepted your struggling.

  GBear Xxxx 

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