My sibling recently died and my brother in law is now asking for help to pay for a memorial for her...is it the norm to ask for financial assistance from siblings?
Hi Louisa and welcome to the online community
Firstly can I offer my condolences on the recent death of your sister.
I don't know whether it's considered normal to ask for financial assistance from siblings to pay for a memorial. However, I think the point is whether you want, or can afford, to make a financial contribution or not. Maybe your brother in law wanted to give you the opportunity to contribute so that you'd also have a say in what sort of memorial you think your sister might like.
At the end of the day no one can make you contribute, it's up to you.
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Thank you so Much. This is very helpful. I think you have a really good view of this. My worries are that the amount he is suggesting it would cost is so high but also I feel that I’d like to have a memorial closer to where I live so that I can visit it more readily...best regards and many thanks again
Hi Louisa F . So sorry to hear of the loss of your sibling. I also lost my younger sister recently, very suddenly. We also lost our son just a year ago. Neither of them to cancer. I am the cancer victim but still here, which doesn't feel fair. When our son died, his siblings came up with many different and expensive ideas for memorials. Most of these were very commercial. I am of an age and experience to know many of these things are promoted when people are at their most vulnerable. As time goes by, people have a more sensible view on things. If you can stall your brother in law to think about things more clearly, you may be able to come up with something that suits everybody without too much expense. Personally, I do not need memorials. I have so many happy memories which no one can take away. Best wishes.
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