Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Gone but not forgotten

Emmags
Posted by

In November 2018 my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the oesophagus. January 2019 mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Most of this year mum has been in QA. Everything has been none stop since end of November when they were both in hospital.

Wed 27th March 2019, mum has been in hospital for nearly 7weeks and dad gets admitted for pneumonia. Friday 29th advised the cancer has spread.

Mon 1st April the hospital call my brother to say dad is fit for discharge but they can't get hold of mum are we OK to if they discharge dad in mum's care (yes she was still in hospital) . That evening they move dad to the same ward as mum.

Tuesday 2nd April we get called to say we should go in ASAP. This was 45mins before my brother was due to get a taxi to go to the airport on a work trip to Copenhagen. The sister in charge called us and thank God she did as doctor didn't think we needed calling.

Thursday 4th April we say our goodbyes as they didn't expect him to survive the night 

Friday 5th April, mum finally gets home about half 6.By 9pm dad has passed away.

Sunday 7th April 2019 would have been his 69th birthday.

I can't believe the last few months and I know this isn't the end, unfortunately we suspect mum will go soon too. 

The only saving grace is the staff on the ward were amazing to us all and that dad is not in pain and it was relatively quick 

So many emotions going through me, everyone says I am strong but I don't want to be strong anymore.

Not even sure if there is anything that makes sense in this post or why doing it!

Em x

Tinkerbell163
Posted by

So sorry. 

I lost my cousin and dad in the space of 3 months due to cancer. I know the pain and frustration. May I ask how old you are? 

Cancer rips through family’s. Just don’t let it destroy you. 

Xx

Emmags
Posted by

I am 36,37 in May. Mum is 68 x I am so so sorry for your loss x

No easy answers
Posted by

Dear Em, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad, for your mum's diagnosis and for everything you have been through over the last few months. I wanted to send a message of solidarity and support to you at this impossibly hard time.

I lost a beloved parent to cancer too - my darling Mum passed away from lung cancer in early November 2018, just 12 weeks after her diagnosis. I miss her so very much. She'd just had her 69th birthday and I'm 37. Far too soon, far too fast.

Everything you have been through is so incredibly hard - it's hard physically  mentally and emotionally; it's hard to understand, and very hard for other people to understand too.  This forum has helped me connect with people who have had similar journeys and I've found it really helpful to reach out, to write about the things that have happened and how I'm feeling and to feel supported. I hope you find it a place where you can come and share what's happening with people who understand. If it helps too, I found the lung cancer forum people helpful and supportive.

Sending a big hug, along with all the courage and strength I have to you, your mum and your family. If you want to send an individual message you'd be very welcome. Take care of yourself x