Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Supportive site

Sunny43
Posted by

Hello all - when I lost my lovely mum last September I felt so lost. It felt I had lots of arrows pointing in different directions as to what I do next - talk to family, keep my emotions to myself, get support from the hospice or reach out to internet land. I found myself on here and I’m so pleased that I did. As Lou said, I also find writing my feelings down helps, rather than saying them out loud. Its like when your at school and you try to fit into a group and connect with people who are on the same page, I was looking for that, a support network where I could open my heart and soul and really say what I wanted. Usually, when people say to me, how are you? I just say ok, plodding on with life, but on here, I can say what I really think.

When I used to say to mum, how are you, if mum was feeling ok, mum would give me the thumbs up sign I have never been one to give myself plaudits, but, im sure mum is watching over me and would be proud at how I’m doing, I feel I can give myself a little pat on the back

I listened to music last night, I haven’t listened to music for such a long time. I played some songs that I used to like when I was young, a song can take you right back and a lot of the songs I played, reminded me of my happy childhood, I even played a bit of Bros. It was actually a bit of comfort to me, just sitting quietly and remembering the happy times.

As Sunshine said, this little thread on here has been a great help to me. I’m going to end this message with some of the lyrics from one of my favourite songs - Rihanna, Umbrella, thought these words were quite apt for people going through a difficult time and looking for that support -

Now that it’s raining more than ever

Know that we still have each other

You can stand under my umbrella

Xx

Sunshine19
Posted by

Aww lovely words . Sunny43. Awww Bros my cousin loved them her bedroom was covered in posters floor to ceiling. I was more of a Salt and Pepper and NKOTB fan my self. may have to get on youtube  I love music or certainly brings back looks of memories. My mum was a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. It was always blasting out. The music of a our child hood with a bit of Bob Dylan thrown in my our dad . Lol  Our house was full of fun and laughter .

My mum also loved a wide range of music, she liked Rhianna .she loved George Ezra. And of course Luther Xx  We played music to my mum a lot when she was very poorly. Because she loved it .Xx  Music gives me comfort too. Xxx

Sunshine19
Hope_29
Posted by

It is a lovely site which makes you feel less in a horrible vacuum with your feelings... I think nostalgia is so important, so I'm glad you had fun listening to music from way back - I remever Bros and their double denim too!

My mum taught me never be scared to laugh and remember the good times, so thanks for that reminder. Your Mum will be proud of you x

Sunny43
Posted by

Thank you Hope _29 and Sunshine. Yes, music can be very powerful, it can evoke all sorts of emotions/memories/sad times/happy times. My mum liked Elton John and Queen, mum’s favourite songs were - Have I Told You Lately, Just The Way You Are and Time Of My Life. I saw Bruce Springsteen on the television this week and thought of your mum. Lovely to read that your house was full of fun and laughter Sunshine.

My sister liked Salt n Pepa. I was a fan of Wham/George Michael. I liked some of NKOTB songs. I remember a lot of the girls at school liked them, especially Jordan and Joey. I did not mind Bros and your right Hope about the double denim, I also remember the grolsch bottle tops that the fans all wanted to put on their shoes like Bros.

From now on, I’m going to listen to music more. Music is a bit like therapy - good for the heart and soul. Xx