Bereaved family and friends

For anyone who has lost a family member or friend to cancer to share their feelings and support one another.

Dreading New Year

SPu
Posted by

Yes I have a photo of Mum and I on the mantlepiece which I talk to but sometimes just breaks my heart to see. Happier times. I constantly replay bits in my head which I would rather forget so I can just be left with the nice memories and stop the regrets and stuff I did wrong or said.

Erm “enjoy” the weeding....

xx

K8EH
Posted by

I hear you on that. I hope one day it will all only be happy memories. I bet you did nothing or said anything wrong. It’s no doubt your mum would have known how much she was loved. My mum said that the last 10 days. She felt very loved and didn’t want to go yet

Thanks - you’ll find me talking to my newly grown daffodils xxxx

SPu
Posted by

Thanks I hope she did. The end came unexpectedly so my Mum didn’t get a chance to tell me anything like that. I just have to hope and pray she heard everything I was saying to her and know how very very much I love and miss her. Xx

K8EH
Posted by

Not to be morbid but apparently they say that hearing is one of the last things to go when someone is at the final stage - so she would have heard & known how loved she was by you xxxx

Sunny43
Posted by

Hello all. I know what you mean about Mother’s Day, whenever I see the advert for it on the television I switch over or turn the sound off. We have a lovely photo of mum in the living room, I took the picture of mum a few years ago, when mum looked well. I still can’t look at it and if I do happen to glance, it breaks my heart. I replay a lot of things in my head too SPu, I wish I had a stop button in my head, everyone has regrets, I know I do, but, nobody is perfect and we are only human. Someone said, try not to let regrets beat you up and try to think of them as lessons in life, easier said than done though. My mum went quick in the end too, we had no idea, the nurses kept giving us mixed messages, saying it was a urine infection and that mum would start to feel better in a couple of days. Mum then went in to a deep sleep, the nurses said that mum would be able to still hear us, I hope she did, we just kept telling mum how wonderful she was and how much we loved her, I even said, please mum don’t leave us, stay with us. As I now know with cancer, it is so unpredictable. 

I hope everyone gets through the weekend ok and I hope you have a peaceful time in the garden Kate. Mum loved the spring season and mum would have liked the daffodils in our garden, we don’t have a lot, but, it’s better than none.

Take care all xx

GBear
Posted by

I am still having to have a break from the site but just wanted to say i am thinking of you all and sending you all a big hug. Although I still have my mum, mother’s day and the day before has always been difficult for me for other sad reasons for a very long time. It never used to be and i try to be happy, but I understand how having mothers day pushed everywhere must be very hard when you have lost your mums but someone said the other day to me, remember the love, remember the good and each day will be filled with happiness. Its not that easy but I understand what they were trying to say. 

I have also been doing some paintings for Easter, at my pain support group they have a raffle to raise money for the group and the local disability charity and i have donated three of my fun paintings for the raffle. I will share when i have finished them. 

  GBear Xxxx 

What is a Community Champion?    Womb cancer forum  

Call the helpline for free on 08088080000, 8am to 8pm everyday.

“Don't live in the past, but live for today” 

Sunny43
Posted by

Thinking of you too GBear. We will look forward to seeing your paintings xx

SPu
Posted by

Ditto. Thank you for checking in @GBear. Thinking of you too and, as says, looking forward to seeing the paintings.

Keep strong xx

Sunshine19
Posted by

Hey Spu, Bruce Springsteen he is a singer. Xx yeh, can relate to that. Xx I think it's knocking my immune system. I feel ill again.

I actually sobbed to a Moonpig advert, then sobbed as I told my friend I sobbed to a Moonpig advert. She sobbed too. I said to her " it's silly, I love and miss my mum every day". It just that advert, but it hits nerve. She was cute and said I was in Sainsbury's and saw the cards and thought of you. . This week I will do lots of Mothers Days crafts at work. I will think of my mum but when I little she loved my handy work. So I know she'd love that, I was helping some little unsure to make prescious memories too. 

Loving the light mornings and light eves. Just need a bit of sun and spring has sprung. Xx

Kate - good on you with the garden. I was gonna cut the grass, but I've slept for 2hrs instead. 

Wishing you all a calm weekend. XXX 

Sunshine19
Sunshine19
Posted by

Excuse the typos. I never know. How to edit once sent. Xx

Sunshine19
Sunny43
Posted by

The Moonpig advert has me in tears too, like I said, when I see the adverts for Mother’s Day I hurry to switch them off or turn the sound off. The card that we bought for mum last year is in my room in a drawer, just too painful to look at if - we put the card in mum’s room last year and kept it there, until mum passed. 

Wishing you all a peaceful weekend xx