My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Awww Judi, thinking of you hun and sending warm and hopefully comforting ((((((((ANGEL HUGS)))))))))) for Monday and Tuesday. 

Good luck with the excercise bike. I have one and have not felt particularly well since I bought it so have not used it much yet. 

Helen maybe one time when I go visiting we might get chance to meet. x x

Time seems to fly in some ways but drag in others.

Love x x Patricia x x

Morning girls - ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you all......

Patricia - thank you for your generous sponsorship.....we all know how much the money is needed!!!  Good luck to your son running the Snowdon Marathon.  We know that area quite well as we used to do lots of walking there.......but RUNNING!? - humph!!  NOT LIKELY!!!!!

Ailsa - getting plastered????  Oh sorry.......your room is being plastered???  The mess will be worth it.......your room will look lovely when it's finished......Just keep that thought in mind as you scrape the plaster off the floor!!!!!

Judi - everyone on here seems to find the days leading up to an anniversary much more painful than the actual day..........sending you special comforting ((((((((((hugs))))))))) - just do as you feel right on the day.......but please don't get a soaking in all that rain!!!!!

Lynne - hope you get the headstone done soon...........

Sorry if I missed anyone - but am sending good wishes for a lovely - if wet - weekend.........

Love and ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) to you all Dot xxxxxx

Hello everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around for a few days but things are just a bit hectic and I am shattered so going to bed early.  Most of the time I am okay sleeping (I have always loved my bed) and I am usually so shattered after busy days that I fall asleep.  It is generally just the weekends that I can't sleep.  I absolutely hate them. 

House sale still not through yet but I am not too stressed about it.  I have my house to go to and everything booked so will just go ahead.  If it means I have to make one more mortgage payment on this place then so be it.  I pick up the keys to my new place on Wednesday and I am very excited as it is lovely.    Then all my family are coming over on Thursday to help out and stay over and then the removal company come at 8.30 on the Friday morning.  I think I will be without broadband for a week :-( but I have one of those mobile broadband sticks that I can use in the meantime.  Boys are very excited too which is good.  I bought a fancy fish tank so that they could pick fish when they move so they are looking forward to going and looking for Sponge Bob and all their friends lol!

I haven't had a chance to look for a hotel but will over the weekend.  I booked up yesterday to go to Birmingham to see Paul McKenna in January so I have booked a nice hotel for 2 nights and I will just get the train down.  Think my sister might come with me and she can go shopping when I am at Paul McKenna and then we can go out at night. 

Well I am working today (normally have Friday's off) but I am doing a presentation at a bank for financial advisors today on my job!  I am a bag of nerves as you will understand my confidence is low at the moment.  I will be glad when it is over!

Judi, we are thinking of you at the moment and you know we will all be here for you.  Have you got any plans apart from the cemetary to mark the day/days?

Ailsa, glad you sound a bit more positive about the decorating.  I know what you mean about stressing.  I am normally not easily stressed but the smallest silliest things set me off at the moment.  I am hoping it passes soon.

Lucky you Helen with all these long lies!  Our lot were back at school this week as the holidays are earlier here.  It was great not having to rush in the morning to get up to the school.

Lynne & Dot - good luck on Sunday.  Hope it all goes well for a great cause.  My sister raised a whopping £1320 for the hospice!!!  I couldn't believe it - it was amazing.

Hugs to you Patricia, you don't need to explain yourself to us - we all understand when people feel low but hopefully posting will keep you from sliding down the slippery slope.  We are thinking of you.

Take care everyone and speak to you later.

Gayle xx

Evening everyone xxx

Patricia that would be a good idea!!

Gayle you have been so busy! You can hopefully relax soon in your new home.Until the next time!!

I`ve been catching up on jobs before we go away tomorrow. Leaving food in the fridge for son!! Can`t leave him hungry can we?? lol x I`m meeting up with friends for a meal tonight so that will be nice.

What`s everyone else up to this weekend?

Helen xxx

Hi Everyone,

Helen - have a fantastic time with your daughter at the weekend.  Sounds like it will be a good show.  Have you anything else planned for your break?

I am going to be cleaning all weekend :-( I have all the packing done more or less but want to do all the horrible jobs like cleaning the oven and fridge tomorrow. 

Only 7 more days till we move and I am getting very jittery.  Just hope I can hold it together all week.  Will be really hard so I am trying to put horrible thoughts out of my head to make it as easy as possible.  This time next week it will be all over.

Hope your weekends are okay ladies.

Gayle xx

Evening all, sorry I have been very bad and not caught up with you all for ages, now my eyes are giving up having tried to read lots on here tonight and even managed to post a reply here and there (after waiting for the white box to load).  Hope you are all doing well, moving house and going to the gym, you are all brilliant people, keep it up and keep smiling.  Sleep well and have a good weekend I will try and post more tomorrow. Love and hugs xxxxxx

Hi All,

Sorry not been on for a few nights but been looking after  my dad as my sister away for a couple of days for her birthday so been keppt on the go. Helen enjoy your weekend hope you have left plenty to eat for your son as Kim says to me your golden boy ha ha. Gayle hope all goes well , Kim is also selling her flat just now but it's a private sale so hopefully that will go through ok. Ailsa you could come and do my sitting room if you want. Judi thinking of you i think what everyone says the time leading up to the anni will be worse as the day, it will soon be a year for me as well,  Hope everyone else has a good weekend i have nothing planned but as you say another hour to lie waken in bed,my sleeping just not getting ant better. Well have to go as going to work speak soon.

Take Care

Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx

My husband died in my arms too. Ours was a very intensive love for one another being a second marriage for both. It took me 15 years to find him only to have him cruelly taken away from me by Mesothelioma. Afterwards when the muggy cloud disappeared I realised that life would never again be normal, so I went about changing things to benefit ME. I retired from work my job was the only thing that had remained normal and I hated it for just that reason. I was lucky I could afford to go on luxurious holidays and did so for the first 2 years. Once the pain softened and I was able to see things more clearly I realised that I had been running away from my life but that it had helped and that I was more able to cope now. My life as I knew it ended 3 yars ago. My life is soooo very different now, I still live in our home I won't change that but I did finish off all the jobs that were left half done. I was left alone as our children live all around the country and were unable to support me so I had to get on with it myself. I knew that my husband was with me still, he kept leaving me pennies to find which he said he would. ( Scene from Ghost). So now I have babbled on what I really wanted to say is that YES time doe's make you feel able to cope. Go with the flow just now go with your feelings cry if you feel like, spend money if it helps and DO NOT let anyone tell you how you should be feeling as there is no correct way. Each has their own way of coping you are the priority it is your life that has changed the most. I now have my own battle to win but I know that I am being taken care of by my darling. Take Good Care of yourselves eevryone in the same boat. Love JuJuC XX

Hi everyone , well as i've explained to Dottee i cant make the walk tommorow , my step daughters have decided to suprise me with a visit (they had forgotten i was doing the walk) they knew what a bad week i'd had so here they are . They'd planned for the kids to come down tonight and we're going for lunch tommorow . It is really sweet of them , and as i'd not seen one of them since she got back from Afghan i am pleased to see them but gutted about the walk . But me and Dottee are going to look for another challange and also going to meet for a cuppa sometime as i was really looking forward to meeting her .

Fiona i hope you manage to calm your nerves , i'm sure the boys are excited now , Bless .. Hope your Having  fab time Helen , spend lots lol .. Hi to everybody else , just a quick one as my Baileys is calling me lol .

Thanks to Juju 53 i'm sure your words will be invaluble one day , its nice to get input from someone from else further down the line xx

Take care Lynne xxxxx

Sorry Fiona , i meant Gayle , i bet you we're suprised you we're moving lol , i'm did the message all in a rush sory xxxxxxx